Page 34 of Tastes of Him

Those two words shot through me like fire to dry brush. I stared, seeing him in a new light. Sex with him had been one thing, but to have the feelings I’d tried to deny spoken aloud was something new entirely. I couldn’t run from this. There was no hiding the naked openness in his eyes.

“You never said anything.”

He looked at me then like I was pulling his leg. “Are you serious right now? Sean, I’ve been saying how I felt about you for years.”

“No.” I shook my head even though I knew deep down he wasn’t lying. “Those were just jokes.”

Rod’s snort was loud. “Maybe in the beginning, but I stopped joking around about my feelings even before the night we kissed.”

Swallowing hard gave me a moment to collect my thoughts. That kiss had been the catalyst for me falling into bed with him while trying to keep my heart as far away from him as I could to not fall harder. Clearly, it had all been in vain. I never got Rod out of my head, not even when we were apart. Rod must have taken my silence for denial because he kept talking.

“Do you know how frustrating it was to listen to you lie to me over and over again when all I wanted was to hold you close? I’ve been baring my heart so often that I don’t think anyone but you were in the dark. My parents thought for sure I was going to propose to you at my welcome home party.”

My mouth closed with a click. I didn’t know what was more surprising, Rod’s words, the fact that he raised his voice, or the fact that even his parents had weighed in on us. Emotions played out on his face while I attempted to reboot my fucking brain. There was shock—maybe at his own words—frustration, and the one I liked the least.

Embarrassment.

Rod had always prided himself on being unflappable. It was one of the reasons why I pushed so hard to get a reaction out of him. But not like this. I didn’t want to see him regret this. I never wanted to see embarrassment cross his face again, especially when it had to do with him and me.

A fierceness welled up in me then. It was like what I had felt before when standing in front of Cameran, ready to fight someone, anyone who dared make her feel bad about herself. But where that had been tinged with the fierce loyalty of family, what I was feeling now was something different. Something so much more.

I knew I wanted Rod. I had always known that. But when had I fallen in love with him?

Does it matter?

The question was a fair one, and when I really thought about it, the answer was no. It didn’t matter if I had fallen in love with Rod under the cover of night in a hotel in Montana or just now. The only thing that mattered was that the feeling was there. It was real, and it felt so good.

“I love you.”

Rod reared back, eyes wide. “Don’t. Don’t say that if you don’t mean it.” He shook his head, and I could see the vulnerability in every line of his face. My response, when it came, was startling in its simplicity.

“But it’s true. I love you.”

Before I could move, Rod had my cheeks cupped in his hands. His expression was hopeful as he gazed into my eyes. “You have to be sure about this, Sean, because I don’t think… Once I have you,reallyhave you, I don’t think I’ll be able to let you go.” His thumbs brushed over my bare cheeks, and I swore I could feel his heartbeat matching mine.

I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes as I finally let myself feel. “I don’t want you to ever let me go.” I opened my eyes again, knowing that now, everything I felt was laid bare. There was nothing left to hide, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t want to. Not from him.

Not from us.

The kiss when it came was something so new. There was no teasing, no games. It was pure heat, and if not for having already said the words, I would have felt it from our touch. My eyes burned with tears I refused to let fall. I didn’t want Rod to think I regretted anything. No, the only regret I had now was not giving in earlier.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered against his lips when we parted. “I’m so sorry.”

Rod shook his head, rolling our foreheads together. “No. There’s nothing to apologize for.” He brushed another soft kiss against my lips. “I should have just come out and told you how I felt. I knew you thought I was joking, and I should have made it clear that you were it for me.”

I chuckled softly, though it sounded less amused and more unhinged. “Well, I should have guessed you were serious when you talked about putting a ring on it.”

“I wanted to wait until you got used to me being back and I could officially ask you to be mine before I fulfilled that promise.” I was struck speechless, and I knew he felt me tense. His thumbs never stopped moving as they rubbed against my heated cheeks. “Don’t act so surprised. I told you I would. Cameran was a witness.”

I reached up to grip his wrists. “I mean, yeah, but I thought you were still joking.” Not knowing what to say gave me some time to think. I waited for the panic that I expected to well up within me at his declaration, but it never came. Like a switch had been flipped, the anxiety that may have once accompanied the revelation that Rod was in this for the long haul never surfaced. All I could feel was a deep sense of satisfaction that this man wanted to be mine.

“Are you freaking out?”

My answer was simple and cost me nothing to reveal. “No. I’m not freaking out at all.” I leaned back in, pressing a shallow kiss against his lips. “I’m so fucking happy I think I might vomit, though. Seriously, I might actually throw up hearts and rainbows all over this damn couch.”

His chuckle was soft as he shook his head. “I wasn’t aware that you were the type to throw up happiness, but noted. No white tuxes at the wedding.”

“You can’t be planning stuff for our wedding when you haven’t even fucking proposed yet.”

---