Page 33 of Tastes of Him

His question had me wishing I had never said the words, but they were out there now, and I knew it would be selfish not to finish them. “You don’t have to do this.” My stomach lurched, and I felt the food I had just eaten threatening to double me over toward the floor. “You don’t have to be with me if you don’t want to.”

He stared at me, mouth falling open. I only managed a few moments of gazing into his eyes before I had to look away. I wasn’t afraid to tear up in front of him, perceived masculinity be damned, but I didn’t want to burden him with my own feelings if they weren’t something he wanted to handle. The silence started to stretch too long, and the need to fill it had my lips moving again before I could reel my words in.

“I know Cameran always joked about—well, pushed, really, for us to get together. And after a while, I started to hope too because fuck, you’re amazing. People gave you so much shit when you decided to go your own way, and you just turned it around and made them eat it.” I looked up at him, knowing my heart was in my goddamn eyes, but if I was going to lay it all out there, then I didn’t fucking care.

“You make me want to be wild in all the best ways.”

He swallowed before he finally spoke. “You make me quiet.”

I opened and closed my mouth, not knowing what to say to that. Never had I wanted to diminish him or have him feel like he needed to silence himself for me, and I moved to tell him as such, but he spoke again before I could get the words out.

“Don’t misunderstand me,” Sean said quickly. “You don’t make me feel like I have to be silent. But when I’m around you, I feel like I can just be. There’s always so much noise in my head, but when I’m around you, it’s quieter…softer. I like it.”

“Oh,” I replied. Tentatively, I reached out and placed my hand on his knee. “I’m glad that I can help.”

He snorted. “Always so selfless.”

It wasn’t the first time he had thrown those words at me, but for some reason, this time they pulled something out of me that, truthfully, had always been kicking and screaming to be freed.

“Now it’s you who shouldn’t misunderstand me.” I tightened my hand on his knee. Sean’s eyes widened, and I heard his breath hitch. A part of me, the part that always seemed to surface when I was around him, thrilled at having his undivided attention. “Nothing about my feelings for you is selfless. When it comes to you, I feel horribly selfish, and I like it.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

Sean

“Nothing about my feelings for you is selfless. When it comes to you, I feel horribly selfish, and I like it.”

Well, fuck. What am I supposed to say to that?

Rod always had a way with words. Sometimes I joked that he should have been a poet or a writer. The way he weaved things together was almost hypnotizing, and it was that ability that always had me so hopeful until reality came crashing down.

“And that means I selfishly want to know what’s wrong,” he said. Rod squeezed my thigh again, and instantly I was transported back to the truck, where all of this became real between us. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but agreeing to join him in that truck had sealed our fates. Coming together had been inevitable at that point, and now we had to pick up the pieces.

My sigh sat heavy on my tongue. “Nothing.”

“Stop saying that!” Rod exclaimed, jumping up from the couch. My mouth fell open as I looked up at him. His fists were clenched at his sides, and his eyes were glued to me. The frown on his face was heartbreaking, and I wanted to wipe it away. Still, it was the volume of his voice that startled me the most. “I keep trying to fix whatever this shit is between us, and instead of working with me, you shut me out.”

“Rod—”

“No!” he shouted, waving his hand at me. “Stop trying to change the subject. Stop trying to distract me and just be real with me! Is that asking for too much?”

His voice almost echoed through the room, and I stared in shock. This was a side of Rod I had never seen. Cool, calm, collected Rod was the norm, but this fire was something totally new. I should have been angry at his tone, but instead, I was just in awe.

“You yelled.”

“Well…I was frustrated.” Rod ran a hand over his face as he dropped back down on the couch. “Sorry. That doesn’t excuse…”

“You yelled atme.” His eyes widened, but my mouth had a mind of its own as it continued to move. “I’ve never heard you yell at anyone before.”

He sighed, eyes shifting to the floor. “I’m sorry. I just can never seem to keep my cool around you.”

It was clear to me then, and I was left wondering if I had never truly seen it or if I had been running from it all along.How had I not seen it before?I knew the simple answer was that I was afraid to.

“You love me.”

It wasn’t a question. I wasn’t taking a shot in the dark and hoping for the best this time. I was sure of this as much as I was sure of anything.

Rod stared for a moment before his shoulders lifted in a gesture of helplessness. “I do.”

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