Page 70 of Cups of You

“Sure sweetie. Why don’t you go take you a warm bath?”

Amber snorted at the suggestion but had to admit it sounded kind of perfect. Maybe if she stuck her head under the water and screamed she would feel better. It would be smarter than going outside and screaming. That might start a whole new host of rumors and Amber was dealing with quite enough already.

“Yeah, I think I will. Yell for me if you need anything?”

Jackie waved her off. “No need. Coretta is coming to pick me up so we can go play some bingo at the rec center. You just enjoy yourself and I will see you in the morning.”

Amber nodded and turned away before she broke down and told Jackie everything.

The stairs creaked with each step she took. Amber trailed her fingers over the wood banister the coolness of it pairing well with her chilly mood. She moved robotically taking off her clothes and shrugging on her old robe before making her way back across the hall to the bathroom. She turned on the tap letting the water sluice over her fingers as it warmed. Steam rose curling over the rim of the tub and she took deep breaths in letting the moment wash over her.

Sinking into the water had Amber sighing as the heat of it warmed her chilled limbs. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. The thoughts that had given her a brief respite now came back full force and she once again tried to decode the meaning behind Benjamin’s unexpected rejection.

Amber was well aware she could be abrasive, but that had been clear from the start and Benjamin always seemed to navigate her personality with ease. His easygoing nature made Amber want to tone a bit of her grump down for him and she was sure from the little smiles Jackie favored her with when she was observing Amber and Benjamin together that her aunt had caught on.

But had Benjamin?

Did he notice how Amber had let him in so seamlessly? Somehow, he had wiggled his way into Amber’s life to the point that she wasn’t sure she would ever be able to get him out. Even just the smell of coffee gave Amber a Pavlovian response of looking for Benjamin.

“Fuck,” she whispered sinking low in the bath. The water felt nice, but it was doing nothing for making her feel better.

Amber wasn’t sure how long she sat in the tub, but the water was tepid when she finally pushed herself up and pulled the stopper from the drain. She grabbed er towel hastily drying off as the chill of the air hit her skin.

Soon enough, she found herself back downstairs. Amber stared at the glass of wine in front of her angling it this way and that just to have something to do as her thoughts circled the drain.

She had nothing.

There was nothing she could do or say to change the course of the night. Even the wine didn’t hold that much sway over her, and she set the glass back on the counter before turning away. Sleep was probably her best bet. She wasn’t sure if things would still look so horrible in the morning, but she was willing to try anything right now to keep herself from replaying the last few hours.

A knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. She frowned and looked at the stove noting the time.

“It’s too late for people to be stopping by,” she muttered. When the person knocked again, she walked out of the kitchen and towards the front door. “Who is it?”

“It’s Benjamin.”

Amber froze with her hand outstretched. She looked down at the doorknob not knowing whether she should turn around and walk away or let him in. Both sounded equally terrible.

“Amber, can we talk? Please?”

It was the please that finally did it for her. Those other words were rarely if ever accompanied by something good, but despite her better judgement, she wanted to hear what he had to say.

“Okay.”

Her agreement was more for her than him, but it gave Amber the push she needed to keep moving and open the front door.

TWENTY-SEVEN

Benjamin had rehearsed what he wanted to say as he drove from his house to Jackie’s. The drive had given him plenty of time to think of a speech to win Amber back after his ridiculous lapse of judgment. He only hoped she would let him in and hear him out. If not…if not, he didn’t know what to do.

The thought of having missed out on the chance to see what Amber and his relationship could become was enough to have him pressing harder on the gas.

The lights were on as he pulled into the driveway and after a mini pep-talk to himself in the car, he found the push to walk up and knock on the front door. The seconds seemed to crawl by as he waited for a response. He knocked again wondering if they were out for the night even though Amber’s car was parked outside.

“Who is it?”

His heart nearly skipped a beat when Benjamin heard Amber’s voice through the door.

“It’s Benjamin.”

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