Page 61 of Cups of You

Amber took the phone back and rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m just saying. The man is sexy. And he must have some good dick game to have you looking at your phone like that.”

Amber was startled into laughter. “I wouldn’t know how good or not his game is since we haven’t had sex.”

“You guys haven’t had sex and he already has you smiling like your back is being thrown out on the regular?” Tasha eyed her up and down. “Does he have a brother?”

“My smile is totally normal,” Amber contested. “I’m just happy to get away and have some time to think about what I really want for a change rather than having to compromise.”

“Well, I suppose that sounds reasonable,” Tasha replied. “But I don’t think that word means what you think it means.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Amber, what you and Josiah were doing was not called compromising. It was called him making demands and you going along with them.”

She sat down on the edge of the bed. “As happy as I am for you to no longer be with him, I want you to be real with me. After all this time, are you really okay with moving back home?”

Amber paused. This was something she had been thinking long and hard about. It wouldn't be too difficult to move out and find her own place in Chicago while she applied for other positions. She had even looked at a few places the first time she caught Josiah’s infidelity and considered splitting up.

“You know you could always stay with me until you figure out your next move. You don't have to go running back to the wilds of Georgia.”

Amber smiled at her. “I know Tash. But I think going back home will be good for me.” She sighed at Tasha’s expression before mirroring her friend and sitting on the bed. “I think deep down I always knew I would make my way home. I just needed an excuse.”

“Wait.” Tasha held a hand up. She stood up and gestured for Amber to follow. Amber frowned not sure why Tasha had stopped her from speaking in the middle of their conversation, but she stood and followed.

Tasha walked into the kitchen and opened a cabinet. She pulled out two wine glasses and Amber smiled when she realized what she was doing.

“Tash. It’s two in the afternoon.”

“And?” Tasha pulled out the bottle of rose’ they had opened the night before and poured two healthy glasses. She handed one to Amber and then settled onto one of the barstools.

“Okay. Continue.”

Amber shook her head but took a sip. Perhaps a little liquid courage wasn't such a bad thing. She leaned against the counter and stared at her glass as she gathered her words. She was never good about talking about her feelings, but now was probably as good a time as any to try. Tasha tended to not hold back her thoughts or feelings and Amber could probably use a somewhat outside perspective.

“Before my parents...” She swallowed hard and pushed herself to continue. “Before they died, I always imagine I would go off to college and see the world for a few years before coming back home to Millensville and doing…something. I originally wanted to be a vet. Can you imagine me in medicine?”

Tasha chuckled. “I feel like most kids want to do something with animals when they are young.”

“Yeah.” Amber nodded. “I didn’t have any pets growing up because my parents worked a lot, but I always wanted one.”

“What changed?”

“After the accident? Everything.” Amber’s palms felt sweaty and when she looked down at her glass, it was shaking slightly. “The sight of blood makes me want to vomit and the thought of having to be the one to tell a family that there’s no hope. I couldn’t do it.”

“Oh, Amber.”

“I just wanted to be part of something positive and books had always been that for me. I volunteered one summer after the accident and read to a kid’s book club and the feeling of getting lost in the pages and taking the kids along with me so we could forget the real world even if for just a little bit was wonderful. I liked my quiet time in the library too when it was just me and the books.”

Tasha chuckled softly. “You always did seem to like books more than people.”

“Books don’t talk back.”

“True,” she agreed readily before fixing Amber with a searching look. “I never could understand how you ended up in Chicago.”

“I like Chicago,” Amber insisted. “It’s easy to blend in here which I can’t do back home.”

“I get that, but, and let me be clear that I’m not attacking you; how did you end up with someone like Josiah?”

---