Page 35 of Cups of You

“Will you do that?” He asked. “Go back to Chicago and find a new place?”

That was the question of the hour wasn’t it. Would she go back and move out on her own? Amber wasn’t so sure.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I hadn’t planned on going back until Aunt Jackie is fully healed and back to her normal ability to get around. I thought I would be here maybe six months and then pick my life back up where it left off. Nothing is certain right now.”

Amber reached out for the cups. Benjamin slid two of them towards her turning them around.

“The one with the heart is yours.” He held up the third cup. “I’ll give this one to Ms. Jay.”

Amber peered down at her cup gaze fixed on the heart. Something about it made her feel warm, but she picked it up forcing herself to seem indifferent. Benjamin was just being nice and making sure the cups were marked so they didn’t get mixed up. There was no point in reading more into it.

“Thank you,” she said with a small grateful smile. “I should get this over to Willie’s. I’ll only be a bit.”

“No worries. Ms. Jay and I have some gossip to catch up on,” He replied with a wink.

He walked back around the counter and put a hand on Amber’s shoulder. The warmth of it seeped through her sweater and she moved into the touch before she could catch herself. She wanted to feel more of that heat, more of that connection.

But more was not on the agenda.

She had to be fair.

Benjamin had a whole ass daughter to consider. He couldn’t be jumping into bed with someone who wasn’t even sure where she was going to be in six months, and Amber was sure he wasn’t even thinking about her like that. Not with her acting like a hot mess express. She needed to get her shit together before she even thought about dating.

“Take your time,” he said when she didn’t speak. “I’m sure it’ll be good to catch up with a friend and talk things out. Willie lived in New York from what I remember so I’m sure you two have big city things to talk about.”

Amber snorted. “Yeah, I suppose that’s true. Maybe she can help me figure out how to make my life work. I never thought at thirty-four I would have to start all over again.”

“Happens to the best of us.” Benjamin steered her towards the door. “Go on now. Ms. Jay is in good hands. I promise.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Amber moved towards the door. She paused with her hand on the handle and looked back. “Hey Ben.”

“Yeah?”

He looked at her with such an open expression it made her want to stay and bask in it. There was something about him that made her wary and comforted all at once. It was a disconcerting feeling and one she was trying desperately to understand.

“Thank you.”

His lips quirked up and he tilted his head. “Anytime.”

The crazy thing to Amber is that she believed that. She left then before she did something stupid like curl her arms around him and refuse to let go.

Amber raised her face to the sun as she walked down the sidewalk. There were a few people out and about and she dutifully nodded and occasionally spoke out a greeting as they passed by. She was feeling slightly better after seeing Benjamin and talking about what was going through her head. She knew she needed to figure out a game plan, one she truly wanted for her own. There were other positions she could apply for back in Chicago. But the real question is, did she want to go back.

She thought she did.

When she had first rolled into town, she had been counting down the days until she could roll back out again. There were still painful memories held here, ones that woke her in the night stomach churning with guilt and anger. But the bone-deep aversion she had to Millensville had somehow morphed into a sort of tentative appreciation for everything she had taken for granted when she was younger.

There were good parts here—parts that she would miss if she went back to Chicago. Maybe the biggest thing was her aunt.

Amber tried not to let it show, but Jackie’s fall had really frightened her. Jackie was her home. Logically she knew that her aunt wouldn’t live forever, but the reality of that had hit fast and hard with that phone call and Amber hadn’t hesitated to drop everything.

She didn’t regret it.

Even with how things had turned out, she would never regret being here for the only family she had left; the remaining connection she had to her parents and the memories she worried would fade with time.

Amber sipped her latte carefully wincing slightly when the liquid burned her top lip. She licked the tingling skin and looked around. The diner was open, and the scent of grease and fries made her gag. She wasn’t quite ready to relive the memories of the food she used to consume on an almost weekly basis.

A light breeze blew carrying away the notes of fried potatoes and Amber took a deep breath in of the fresh air. That was another thing she would miss if she went back. There was something to be said about being able to smell nature on the breeze instead of what your neighbors were smoking.

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