Page 33 of Cups of You

“But…” He knew there was going to be a but to that.

“But, I don’t think she is ready for something new with anyone until she sorts her life out.”

He couldn’t deny the truth of Sam’s words. He remembered how vulnerable he first was after splitting with his ex-wife. He didn’t want to do anything to hurt Amber. He wanted to make her feel better and see her smile.

He wanted to be the one to put a smile on her face. He would heed what Sam said and try to be a friend without putting his heart on the line. He knew he could do it. He could cheer her up and keep his heart intact.

Right?

ELEVEN

Amber clicked through her emails frown etched on her face. It had been three days since her disastrous drinking escapade and things were still falling apart. Jackie always said bad things tended to come in threes so she should have expected something else to go terribly wrong outside of finding out her now ex-boyfriend was cheating and then having a hangover for two days.

“Of course.”

The email she clicked on had been from the hiring committee of the director job she applied for in Chicago.

‘Dear Ms. Jones,

Thank you for your interest in the Director of Partnerships position at the Chicago Public Library Foundation. While your resume was impressive, we have decided to go with a more experienced candid—”

Amber stopped reading and sent the email to the trash bin. She’d had mixed feelings about that position, but it still would have been an impressive upgrade in her life and now she really didn’t know what to feel.

Josiah was still texting her. Most were messages telling her to come home so they could work things out. She was ignoring him for now. She had no desire to work anything out with him, but she also knew she needed to get her things before too long. The question of what her next steps were still plagued her. She didn’t want to face him. She didn’t think she would cave, but then again, her savings would only go so far.

“I’m lucky I found this shit out down here.”

Other than Tasha, most of Amber’s friends were mutual friends she shared with Josiah. She wasn’t sure if any of them knew what was going, but she didn’t feel particularly close with them outside of him. The fact that so much of her life had been wrapped up in him was a startling revelation and one she had been pondering even before receiving this last email.

Amber didn’t know when this had happened, but at some point, she had lost sight of who she was and what she wanted in life. She loved Chicago, but she wasn’t sure if that was where she wanted to be long-term. Getting away from the noise of people and the buzz of her surroundings gave her time to think.

What did she want in life?

She had never had the time to sit down and plan things out or take an inventory of where she had been, where she was and where she might go. The past few years had been maximum speed ahead with no breaks to assess the area she was in.

Now, she had nothing but time.

“Hey sweetie. How you doing?”

“Oh, hey auntie.” Amber closed her laptop and stood up from the dining table. She had been making sure to get out of her room at a reasonable time each morning. She was here to make Jackie’s life easier while she recovered, not worry the woman to death. “What’s up? Are you hungry?”

“Yes, but not for real food. I’m bored and peckish and wanted to see if you could drive me over to Bennie’s.” Hearing Benjamin’s name had Amber perking up. She hadn’t seen or talked to the man since their last awkward encounter at the coffee shop Monday afternoon. She still felt a bit of guilt for whatever she said to make the smile fall from his face.

“Sure,” Amber replied. “Willie invited me over to see her new bookstore so that will give me an excuse to finally go over there.”

“Perfect. I’m ready to go when you are.”

“Well, we can head out right now if you want. I don’t have anything else to do today.”

“You sure?”

“Of course, auntie. Let me go warm the car up and grab my purse.”

Twenty minutes later, the women were headed into town. The sun was out again, and it was another pleasantly warm day. Traffic was light as always and Amber was happy to see there was a free parking space right in front of Sweet Beans. She didn’t want Jackie having to go too far since the older woman refused to use the wheelchair provided to her from the clinic.

“I really wish you would use your chair.”

“I don’t need to use the chair, Amber. I’m not old or feeble.”

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