Page 152 of The Scientist

“No, he’s not okay. He hasn’t been okay since we got here.” Concern was unmistakable in his tone. “He’s killing himself, Hadley. He works non-stop. He never sleeps. He goes to the lab first thing in the morning, and if he bothers to come home at all, he’ll only sleep for a few hours before he goes right back to it. It’s like he’s singularly obsessed with finishing this work, and nothing else matters. I think he’s determined to get this done, so he can get back to you as soon as humanly possible.”

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” I demanded as the anger and worry crashed over me. If I’d have known, maybe I could have done something.

“He asked me not to say anything to you,” he replied. “But I can’t watch him do this to himself anymore. He’s going to end up in the hospital when he collapses from exhaustion.”

Hearing Stuart say those words had my stomach in knots. “Where is he? Let me talk to him.” He and I both couldn’t keep going like this. We had to get this figured out once and for all.

He remained silent for a few moments, probably trying to decide if it was a good idea or not. “Stuart, please,” I pressed.

“I don’t know where he is,” he admitted in a quiet voice. “He left yesterday morning, and I haven’t heard from him since.”

Panic surged through me. “What do you mean you don’t know where he is? Have you tried calling him? What if he’s hurt?”

“I don’t think he’s hurt,” he said calmly.

“You don’t know that. Something could have happened,” I nearly shouted. “How can you be so calm about this?”

“Because he told me he was going to Empros this morning to discuss our contract,” he said hesitantly. “I’m pretty sure he was going to try and terminate it.”

I froze, replaying what he just said over in my head. Betrayal and frustration collided, forming a knot of rage in my chest that was almost suffocating.

“No.”Not after everything we’d been through.

I said the words that threatened to shatter the last bit of hope I’d been holding onto for us, “This can’t have all been for nothing.”

“I’m sorry, Hadley,” Stuart said, his voice soft with regret. “I told him that was only going to make things worse, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“Find him, Stuart,” was the last thing I said before I hung up and started dialing Lex’s number.

I was planning on calling his phone so relentlessly that even telemarketers would start to envy my determination. And if thatdidn’t work, I would call every police department in Sweden to find him and tie him up, so he’d have to listen to me.

I paced back and forth across the living room as the phone continued to ring and ring.Fine by me. My phone’s battery was fully charged and my refrigerator fully stocked.I’ll be here all night, folks.

I didn’t have the slightest clue how long I walked around my home obstinately making one call after another, but the sound of the phone ringing in my ear felt like it might be permanently embedded on my acoustic nerve.

Eventually, I began questioning my own sanity as the ringing in my ear started to sound like it was echoing from a distance. I hung up and dialed again. The ringing seemed even louder like it was just outside my front door. I hung up again, my finger hovering over the number to dial it once more when suddenly there was a knock at the door.

???

There was a surreal sense of detachment as I watched my body making its way towards the door. I observed my footsteps falling into place with perfect clarity. It was like being on autopilot as my consciousness began hovering just above me, watching the scene unfold—arm outstretched... hand lifting... knob turning.

It was both exhilarating and disorienting to watch everything happening right before my eyes, but reality itself became blurred as the door was pulled open.

My perception shifted unexpectedly. A gentle pull and my senses came flooding back to me with a vivid intensity as I found the most beautiful pair of whiskey-colored eyes staring back at me. They had always been the most beautiful thing about him to me, a window to an extraordinary soul. I’d missed them morethan I could ever have imagined. At the moment, those eyes were wide with disbelief, his lips popping open slightly as he gazed back at me.

Stuart had been right. He looked utterly exhausted. The deep, purplish color under his eyes was alarming. The angles of his face were sharp and his complexion pallid as if it had been months since he’d seen daylight. I pushed all that aside though, and really looked at him, taking in every inch of him, and I started to cry at the sight of him. I cried for every moment we’d been apart. I cried for those days we would never get back. But mostly, I cried from happiness at finally seeing him again.

I started to shake, and my knees buckled where I stood. He caught me just as I was about to hit the floor. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes, and let his scent wash over me. I tucked my face into his neck and really began to sob. He pulled me into the living room, and I could feel his body trembling against mine as he sat us down on the couch. He said nothing as he held me close, running his hands up and down my spine, trying to soothe me. It took a full five minutes before I regained some semblance of composure.

I drew back and looked at his face. It was a sanctuary to me, bringing with it a sense of calm I hadn’t felt since the day he left. He was looking back at me as if he were seeing a ghost. His hands traced over my entire body, touching me everywhere—running his hands down my arms and across my back, waist, hips, thighs, and back up again, before they moved to cup my face.

“You’re here,” I choked out.

“I am,” he confirmed with a gentle smile that didn’t quite touch his eyes. His hands moved to the nape of my neck. “Is that okay?”

Was that okay? I turned the question over in my mind. My heart sang out with yes, of course! But my mind couldn’t answerthe question so easily. I pulled out of his arms feeling like a ship being pulled from its anchor.

“Tell me you didn’t quit,” I said, letting the accusation hang in the air between us. He stared at me with a look I instantly recognized as his eyes roamed over my face. He was trying to figure me out, trying to decide what I wanted to hear.

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