Page 17 of Coincidentally Kismet

CAM

“BRAVE” - SARA BAREILLES

Waking up this morning, I am questioning all my life choices. My pillow has lumps in all the wrong places, I’m slightly nauseous, and last night is coming back to me in a slow rolling haze—the kind that reminds me of those pictures you see of places overseas where fog dances on cliffs. If my memories were cliffs, they’d be leading to things I probably don’t want to remember, but the fog is just enough for me to pretend I don’t, at least for a few more minutes.

My phone vibrates on the nightstand.Who the hell thinks it’s acceptable to call me at this hour?I roll over, picking it up with a groggy hello.

“Camerooni! Guess what?” My brother’s voice is far too chipper for...Shit, it’s ten thirty already. I guess it’s not a completely unacceptable time to be calling.

“W-what?” I clear my throat as I ask, rubbing sleep and yesterday’s mascara out of my eyes.

“I’m coming back next weekend. Make room on your couch. I fly in Friday and decided to stay until Sunday, so we can hang out. I expect debauchery.”

“El, that’s great. I can’t wait to see you.” My reaction falls flat. I can hear it in my tone and hope he doesn’t notice.

“What happened?” My brother groans on the other line. He knows me better than I wish he did.

“N-nothing. I’m half awake.” I will deny that my world was rocked last night.

“Do not even think about lying to me, Cameron Jane. I know better. What is wrong with you?”

“Erm . . . fine. So Lo and I went dancing last night?—”

“What kind of dancing? Did you meet someone? Tell me you finally met someone.” I can tell by his interruption that he’s intrigued.

“Elliott. Quit talking over me if you insist on forcing me to spill the beans,” I reprimand him because come on, dude. I’m about to tell him the biggest thing that has happened since the one time Dad’s prized bull got caught sneaking in to “visit” the mares in our farm’s other barn, and he won’t even let me get it out. “We went to this country bar on the beach. Everything was fine until I stupidly decided to do the barn dance, you know for nostalgia’s sake.”

“Oh no. Did you get paired with someone who didn’t know the moves? The horror.” He is mocking me.

“El, shut up. No, my partner knew the moves, that wasn’t the problem. The problem is it was...it was Will.” Silence. Pure, unadulterated, anxiety-riddled silence.

“What? You are fucking with me.” I can’t even say I blame him for not believing me. I think I’m still in shock too.

“No, unfortunately, I’m not. I didn’t recognize him at first since he had his head turned away from me, but yeah. It was him.”

“What did you do? Do not tell me you got back with him.” I can hear him rifling around in the background, probably settling in for me to drop a juicy bomb on him.

“No! Of course not. I freaked out and ran away. Well, sorta.” I sit up in bed, crossing my legs into a pretzel and punching the pillow to prop it up against the headboard with my free hand.

“What does ‘sorta’ mean?” I can tell he’s up and pacing, I can hear him practically burning a hole in his apartment carpet.

“Well...Lo had been hanging out with his friends, not that she knew it at the time. So when I ran to her and demanded to leave, she dragged my ass to the patio and convinced me to stay. To not let him ruin my night with his presence because, and I’m sure you will appreciate this part, according to Lo, I’ve let him dictate my life for far too long.” I huff out the last part. I don’t necessarily agree that I’ve let Will control what I do, but if I’m really being honest, some of my decisions have been made by trying to try to eradicate him from my life.

“Good. I’m glad you didn’t run...well, not completely anyway. You are the best thing that ever happened to him. I hope that he sat back and suffered, watching you have fun. Please tell me you flirted with his friends.”

I snort laughing. “I did. I can’t believe it, but I did. I went into full sass mode. Mom would have been horrified with my behavior.”

“Fuck yes! And you know what, Mom loves you but she hasn’t quite figured out how to marry her sense of duty with her ability to let loose. That’s not on you.” His reassurance has always comforted me when it comes to my mother-daughter relationship. My mom is really the best, it’s not like she denied us love or anything. She just has strong values, and when we don’t uphold them...well, she can be a bit judgy.

“Thanks, El. I mean it. I don’t know if I have really processed everything yet, considering I was asleep before you called. But I think I’m actually okay.” Bile nips at my throat, either from far too many drinks or the thought of Will living in the same town as me. Probably both.

“I love you. I’ll see you in six days, and I mean it when I say, plan something fun. We are not sitting in your apartment all weekend.” Elliott hangs up and I flop back onto my pillow, desperate for water—and a time machine to go back and skip last night. Well, one part of it anyway.

I can’t figure out what bothers me more about seeing Will again. Is it the fact that I still have feelings for him, or is it that he saw me when I’m not feeling like my best self? It’s not feelings, I decide. I mean, I will always care for him, I thought he was the love of my life. I just wish I had run into him after I lost the weight I’ve gained, after I had my own chair at the salon and a whole gaggle of clients waiting to sit in it.

Screw it. Monday I’m hitting the gym. I’m anti-workout. (I’ve always maintained that if I’m running, those around me should be too because something is trying to kill me.) Nevertheless, I can’t continue on this way. I have to get my life in order, not because of Will, but in spite of him.

“How are you doing, sunshine?” Lo inquires while holding out a mug of steaming hot coffee. I didn’t even see her come in. The girl would make a fierce cat burglar.

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