Page 43 of Coincidentally Kismet

Steering us away from a debate on descriptive words, I hastily grab his face and pull him into another breathless kiss. He is heaven and hell wrapped up in one excruciatingly devastating package. He smells all male, warm ribbons of fresh cedar waft in my nose. His lips know how to mesh perfectly with mine, infusing his kisses with just the right amount of teasing and depth. I could stay here for hours—not at this bar, just with Will.

I shift slightly, bringing myself even tighter against him. I’m practically rubbing myself on him and whimpering, like a cat mewling for attention. His hands slip down to my lower back, dangerously close to my ass, when the hooting and hollering breaks out.

“Thank the sweet lord, it’s about damn time.” Smith’s roar bellows out across the dance floor, shattering the bubble we were in.

Will leans in again, pressing one soft, chaste kiss to my lips and whispering, “We’re busted, Wright.”

Giggles burst free. “Thanks for, um...Thanks for that, Rambo.” I grab his hand, walking back toward our group.

Lo floors me with a look, a mixture of pride and wariness. She’s not unhappy with this development, but it’s apparent she isn’t sure what her reaction is supposed to be, as my friend. The rest of the group appears ecstatic that the awkwardness is finally over. Little do they know, this all just got a lot more complicated.

We hang around the bar, allowing everyone to finish up their drinks, before heading back to the rental. Will keeps me close, but the kissing seems to be over, and aside from a few stolen glances or light touches, we are mostly acting as friends. Will was never much for PDA, so it shouldn’t be surprising. Still, I can’t help but wonder if maybe the kisses felt better to me than they did to him.

On the walk back, Will makes sure that he is walking on the outside, chivalry and all. We joke and laugh when Ruiz wobbles a little too much and ends up face-planting in a bush. No one realized he drank so much. I certainly wasn’t paying much attention, with all the dancing and kissing.

Speaking of kissing, I can’t help feeling a little let down. I mean, it was amazing—hands down the best make out I’ve had in years. But it also feels like a mistake, and I’m not sure why. My walls are going up faster than one of those prebuilt stick homes. Will is acting casual, maybe too casual, and I wonder if it was alljust a drunken, meaningless thing to him. He’s made it clear he wants to be friends.

After stepping into the cool air conditioning of our rental, everyone seems to become aware of how late it is. Lo and Smith give quick waves and make their way into their room. Amy immediately bolts to the bathroom, and Ruiz passes out face down on his bed with his door open. That leaves me, Will, and Butler standing awkwardly at the counter, sharing some leftover pizza.

I’m picking at my pepperoni. It doesn’t taste good, and I’ve mostly sobered up from dancing and walking back, but I also know that my tomorrow self will thank me for putting something in my stomach.

I can’t help but overthink every minute of the evening. There’s a knot in my stomach twisting and turning, screaming at me. I’m not sure how to just go to bed after how the night ended up. Even though I’m not ready for things to go to the next level, I want Will to come to bed with me. I’ve always loved cuddling, and having that warm, chiseled body snuggled up tight with mine sounds simply exquisite.

Realistically, I know it won’t happen. The little voice in my head is telling me it was a one-time thing. We kissed, we leaned into the attraction that had been brewing over the last couple of weeks, and that’s it. I refuse to open myself up or believe that there is more to this. Will wants to be friends, and I know he only has the capacity to hurt me. I should never have kissed him.Gahhh!Stupid, stupid, me!

I need to get out of this situation. I’m not strong enough to go through another heartbreak at the hands of Will Davenport. Sexy he may be, but when it comes to relationships...he’s nothing but red flags. So why do I always act like a bull and run straight toward them?

Quietly, I slink off, acting like I’m headed to the bathroom. At the last minute, I duck into my room as quietly as I can, closing the door. Lying down, I force myself to think of how much fun I had tonight instead of wallowing in self-pity.

Having this group of friends, people like Butler and Ruiz who are just genuinely funny and easy to be around, is extremely comforting. And Smith and Lo are something else. Looking at them, one would think they had been together for years. Relationships like theirs are what people dream of. A unique and uncanny ability to complete another person so wholly. I’m not an expert on Smith by any means, but I can tell from the short time I’ve known him that Lo is his person. She’s everything he isn’t, and yet they mesh so well. There’s no fighting over differences or wishing the other person would be into the same things they are. They simply accept each other for who they are, without trying to change a single thing about the other.

Being around them is not always easy, they’re both a handful. Smith is boisterous and loud while Lo is a blast but a little bossy. They’re a power couple, and yet the smallest things have them glancing at one another, almost like they’re communicating through their eyes. It’s what I want, what I had with Will once. That connection isn’t the same now.

I never know exactly what he’s thinking, I dream of being able to look into his eyes and see his soul. Don’t get me wrong, there have been glimpses of it here and there, but he’s different now. He’s matured, hardened, and he’s not open to anything more than the occasional pet name and stolen kiss at the bar. I can feel it in my bones that this is as far as it goes. Maybe it’s for the best.

Walking this path with him only leads to one place: me being alone, broken, and hating myself even more than I did the first time. No, I will not allow him to do this again. It feels good to know he is physically attracted to me, but I refuse to give him myheart. Too much has changed, too much time has passed. I have a career, a life without him. That’s precisely what I wanted, and that’s the way it needs to stay.

A faint knock on the bedroom door startles me from my spiral. It’s probably Amy wanting to snuggle in with me instead of taking the couch. What if it’s Will, though? I can’t do this with him. I won’t do this with him again. Kissing him was a warm balm to my soul, but I will not let it be the warm-up for the eventual cooldown of the harsh reality that awaits.

I pretend to be asleep, deciding that letting Amy in would only further this ache and unravel me. She cannot know my feelings because she will absolutely tell her brother, and that would only complicate things more.

The door creaks open a smidge, and I hear not Amy, but Will.

“Cam, are you awake?” he asks softly.

Instead of reacting, I remain still and keep my eyes tightly shut. It’s dark enough, he won’t be able to tell I’m faking. I need him to leave, and in the morning, I need to get the hell out of here. It was fun while it lasted but I need space. I need to focus on my life, my health, and my career. Heartbreak is not on the agenda today, folks.

CHAPTER 21

WILL

“SEE YOU AGAIN” - WIZ KHALIFA & CHARLIE PUTH

Last night was heady. A myriad of emotions went through me, which is unusual since I aim to never feel most of them. At first, it was like a three-piece special, nervousness with sides of anxiety and lust. Cam looked indescribably good in her little red number. Then, my old pal jealousy came back with a vengeance. It’s been a while since we’ve tangoed, the last time I felt his presence was with Cam. Smith and Amy really got in my face about how scared I’ve been. It sucked, but also I think it was the wake-up call I needed. They weren’t wrong—I’m in too deep as it is. She already has the power to ruin me.

The final feeling of last night’s emotional buffet was pure, unadulterated need. Kissing Cam was the closest I’ve felt to being home in longer than I care to remember. Her soft lips so perfectly in sync with mine, I would have gotten lost in her forever had she not pulled back the reins. It’s unclear if she was embarrassed by the outburst from our friends, or if she simplydecided she wasn’t into it. By the time we reached our rental, she was in her head and cold as ice.

My attempts at trying to talk to her were met with more stonewalling. Cam pretended to be asleep when I knocked and peeked in her room. Does she seriously think I can’t tell when she’s actually relaxed versus lying there stiff as a board? Images of her curled slightly on her side, softly breathing, are burned in my mind. There isn’t a more beautiful sight in the world. I know how she looks when she’s soundly asleep and lost in a dream as well as I know my own name.

---