Page 49 of Guarding Truth

“Tell me.” His voice was soft, reminding her that he didn’t have a judgmental bone in his body.

She left her hand under his. “Joe told me the most noble thing a person could do was protect their family and care for those that can’t defend themselves. He made me promise that I’d do that—rescue those I love. Fight for justice. When we lost Joe, there was this big hole in our family, and I’ve worked hard every day to fill that void.”

“Do you think you’ve let down your family by not being a Ranger?”

She sighed. “In a way, yes. I mean, my parents weren’t too keen on me jumping out of airplanes behind enemy lines. But I know they thought of Joe every time they saw what I’d accomplished.”

“And beating cancer wasn’t an accomplishment?”

Why did Caleb always get to the heart of the matter? “I never really thought of it that way. I was more focused on cancer killing my career.”

“But you have a new career. One with good friends like Alana and Noelle. And you’re here, at the right time, to protect Ivy. But my issue has always been, who’s got your back, Jules?”

“I take care of myself.”

“But doesn’t that get tiring, always having to be the one who keeps everything from falling apart? What are you going to do when exhaustion hits and you’re faced with a situation where your usual tactic of fighting your way out of it won’t work?”

She removed her hand from under his and picked up the knife to massacre a green pepper. “I guess here’s the part where you tell me to trust in God, not myself.”

“Without faith, the situations we can’t change will destroy us. Without hope that God’s in control, we wear ourselves out fighting battles we’re never going to win. Battles we weren’t meant to fight in the first place. Sometimes we just need to stand still and let God fight for us.”

While she wanted to believe these words, her heart wasn’t fully on board. She grabbed a red pepper and kept chopping. She couldn’t look at Caleb, so she kept her eyes fixed on the cutting board.

His words resonated in a place deep inside her. A place she’d kept locked and sealed.

The reason she took risks and fought as hard as she did was because she couldn’t live with herself if she let others down.

Just like she’d failed Laz and Tank.

It’s what Joe had fought and died for—protecting others.

“I fight so others don’t have to. Joe died a hero and I refuse to disgrace his legacy. I won’t sit on the sidelines and do nothing.”

“That’s an awfully big burden to carry, Jules. Because we all know that some things are out of our control, no matter what we do.”

But was stepping aside and trusting in an unseen God the answer?

* * *

THURSDAY, 5:00 P.M.

The freight train had hit him hard, and even with all the warning lights and whistles, Caleb hadn’t seen it coming.

Juliette had walked away from him once, and logic dictated that he’d lose her again if he let his guard down. He refused to allow his heart to want something more.

But now thesomething morewas standing in front of him, hacking vegetables like she was cutting her way through a jungle with a machete. The rhythmic chop-chop-chop of Juliette’s knife never slowed. He headed to the stove to brown the meat while his head swam at her confession. He’d known about Joe and how hard she’d mourned his loss, but he hadn’t realized how deep the connection ran.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do about Ivy yet?” she asked, jarring his thoughts back to the situation at hand.

He couldn’t muster a response, mainly because he just didn’t know.

“Look,” Juliette said, spinning to face him with the knife in her hand. “You just told me that God is in control. If you believe this, then shouldn’t that coverage extend to Ivy?”

His own words slapped him in the face. He used a spatula to stir the meat—anything to avoid eye contact with the knife-wielding Juliette. “God doesn’t promise that we’ll never deal with loss. And while I trust him, I don’t think my heart can take it again. I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved.”

Well, maybe noteveryone. If he were honest with himself, he’d loved Juliette. But after she left, he’d refused to let that admission see the light of day.

“You just asked me what I would do if a risk I took didn’t pay off.” Juliette set the knife onto the counter with a clink. “But what would happen to you if a riskdidpay off? You could be missing out on so much by…sitting on the sidelines—to use my own analogy.”

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