Page 135 of Only After We Met

“And for ex-boyfriends who make us be godmothers, don’t forget that!” Donna added, looking at me. I covered my hands with my face and laughed. I couldn’t say no when Stella asked me, because I really did like her, and she barely had any family, and because their baby was so cute, I wanted to kiss him all over every time I saw him. “More!”

“I think you’ve had enough,” I objected.

“Oh come on, Ginger, don’t be a wet blanket.”

They ignored me and ordered another round. At that moment, I felt my phone buzz and took it out of my pocket. I was dressed casually. I hadn’t bothered putting on anything fancy for New Year’s Eve, just tight jeans and a sweater. I held my breath when I read the name on the screen. Rhys.

“Who was it?” Kate asked.

“Rhys, but he hung up.”

She and Donna looked at each other and laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“After all this time, you’re still hung up on a guy you liked in college. Remember? You got so nervous every time you opened your laptop. It was adorable.”

“I hate you sometimes,” I growled.

I got up and walked out as the two of them continued to laugh. It was biting cold out, and I started to shiver. It was raining. They yellow lights of the cars were reflected in the puddles on the road. I walked away from the door down a narrow street in Carnaby and took refuge under the cornice of a building nearby. I dialed Rhys’s number. He didn’t pick up. Not on the first ring, not on the second, not on the third…

I almost hung up, but then he answered.

“The tastiest little cookie in the world!”

“I saw you called…” I began.

“Called? Nah…” He sounded blissful but strange, not much like the reserved, melancholy boy I thought I knew so well, the one who tried so hard to convince me he was something different bydigging up the most unpleasant parts of himself and putting them on display.

“You did. A minute ago…”

“Weird… I don’t remember…”

“Is your session starting?”

“No. At like three. Or four.”

“Rhys.” I clutched the telephone tight. “Are you high?”

Silence. Laughter and voices in the background.

“What do you want me to say?”

“No. Tell me no.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Don’t lie to me, Rhys.”

“Come on, Ginger! Don’t be so lame. I’m trying to do things right, I swear, but sometimes it’s like you buzz around me like a fucking fly…”

“Fuck you, Rhys. I’m hanging up.”

I heard a girl’s voice nearby and imagined unknown lips on his neck while he held the phone against his ear, pupils dilated…

“That’s for the best. I’m a little busy right now.”

It was all I could do not to throw the phone. I clenched my teeth, panted, watched the rain fall, feeling a million miles away from the festivities inside and not wanting to join in. Far from all the people there who were laughing, chatting, having fun. Far from everything. Even Rhys. For the first time in forever, I felt completely alone. Before, I had him at least, on the other side of the screen. The distance never kept me from feeling he was close. But tonight was different. Tonight he wasn’t there. Many times lately he hadn’t been. And I missed him. I wanted the boy I liked to come back: the onefrom those summer nights, the one with the lazy smile, the one who danced with me on the streets of Paris, and could write songs from a heartbeat, make me laugh effortlessly, talk about whatever, and turn my world upside down until I asked myself what I really believed…

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