Page 42 of Cop-Off

Slowly drawing back, Libby took a step back and wiped her cheeks.

“I need to read this, darlin’.” He raised the letter he was holding. “Mind if I do that here, so we can talk after?”

“Of course. You wanna come inside?”

Cody shook his head. He had a feeling he needed as much oxygen as he could get.

Libby gave him a nod and retreated back into the house, giving him space.

Taking the letter to the curb, he dropped down until his long legs were outstretched. Pulling out the single piece of paper inside the envelope, his hands shook as he unfolded it.

Dear Cody,

Please don’t be mad at me. I know that sneaking off in the middle of the night doesn’t exactly help my case, but I need you to know that me leaving has nothing to do with you. I love you. So much it scares the fuck out of me. I have a feeling that I’m always going to love you, too. I’ll be like the old lady in the Titanic movie, boring anyone who comes near me with our love story.

Even through all this pain, she’d managed to pull a smile out of him. If only for a second.

Like that old lady, I have to let you go. You and Dylan. Not because I don’t love you. And not because I don’t want to share the piece of wood I’m floating on. But because you deserve more than me. More than what I can give you.

I lied when I told you I’d made peace with losing my dad. I didn’t know I was lying at the time, but I was. You’ve probably figured out by now that he didn’t make it. Instead of accepting the inevitable though, like I thought I would, all the guilt and grief came flooding back.

I need to go home, Cody. I need to be there for my mum. She’s not doing well. She was a mess before I left, but now I honestly don’t know what I’m going to find when I get back there.

It's not fair to ask you to wait for me. Not to mention the fact that you deserve better than an absent girlfriend who swears too much and has panic attacks. You’ve got Dylan to think about. You both deserve more. You deserve the world.

Please say goodbye to Dylan for me. You don’t have to tell him I love him too if you think that will confuse him. But know that I do.

I love you, Cody McBride.

Cat

Moisture clouded his vision, but he didn’t let the tears fall. Instead, he rubbed his eyes and swallowed down the emotion clogging his windpipe. There was no time for that. If Cat thought for one second he would just let her go without a fight, she was wrong.

Pushing up from the cool concrete, he strode with purpose back to the house. Libby had left the door open, so he walked right in and found her in the living room off to the side of the door.

After gesturing him to sit, she nudged over a full cup of coffee that was resting on her glass coffee table. “For you. I thought you might need it.”

“Thank you.” He picked up the mug and took a big sip. “I’m gonna need Cat’s address in Brighton. And any other information you can give me that will help me find her. Funeral information. Jack’s phone number. Everything.”

Libby’s eyes widened. “You’re going to England? You’re going after her?”

He simply nodded. “Yes. I’m going after her.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Cat couldn’t help but think of the irony. She’d gone back home to look after everyone, when it was herself that needed the most looking after. It was like the blind leading the blind.

This was the first time since she’d arrived back that she’d had time to think. And that was not a good thing. Right now, she was actually missing making funeral arrangements.

After spending the first few nights at her mother’s house, she’d soon realized she needed her own space. If only to have her panic attacks in peace. That’s why today, she’d checked into Beach Bum Bed and Breakfast. It was a cosy little place just minutes from the beach. She even had a slightly obstructed view of the sea from her balcony.

So, I can hyperventilate and enjoy the view at the same time.

Collapsing onto the double bed, she took her phone down with her as she sunk into the fluffy pillow. Another message from Libby. She was not letting up. Now she was threatening to jump on a plane and come to Brighton if she didn’t respond.

It was worth noting that she still had no messages from Cody. Not that she was holding her breath for one. Other than a few missed calls and a couple of ‘Where are you?’ messages the night she’d left, she hadn’t heard anything since.

It’s for the best.

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