Page 64 of Lost in the Light

“My back…it’ still healing and the scars…”

“Nothing will change the way I feel,” he reiterated. “Those scars, they’re a part of you now. I wish like hell there was something I could do to go back in time and stop you from suffering as you did, but I can’t. The scars, they’re just a part of the strength I see in you, and adore. Youareperfect, Addy. Perfect for me.”

A tear slipped down my cheek as I took in his words over and over. They were words I hadn’t even realized I needed so badly, but they soothed something inside of me. I wasn’t perfect – in fact, I was far from it – but maybe I could be perfect for Adam. Maybe I could be what he needed, just as he was everything I needed.

I reached up on my tip toes and kissed him chastely, my tears making the kiss taste salty.

“I need to feel your hands on me, Adam,” I admitted shakily as I lowered back to my flat feet and looked up at him. “I need you to make this stop.”

“I will. I promise.” He leaned down to kiss me just as I’d kissed him, and when he stood again I realized he snagged the hem of my camisole and was pulling it off in one smooth movement. I lifted my arms to make it easier and tried to focus only on his touch and the way he was looking at me. I tried to keep my only thought on Adam, and not allow the anxiety coursing through me, to take over.

“Take it all off Adam, please,” I told him shakily when he seemed to hesitate and glance down to my black bra and panties.

He made short work of removing the last vestiges of both of our clothes, then he was gripping my hips and lifting me up his front. I wrapped my legs around his waist, shuddering at the feel of my naked core against the smattering of coarse hair on his stomach. I looped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder. The feel of his warm, naked skin against my own was like a balm to the rawness coursing through me and I heard myself sigh as the itching feeling of my skin calmed.

I knew I should feel more self-conscious, or even embarrassed as Adam stepped into the steam filled cubicle. I was, after all, wrapped very tightly, naked, around the naked torso of a man I hadn’t even kissed fully yet, but it just felt so right. Apart from the feelings left over from my nightmare I needed to erase, I didn’t feel anxious about being so close and intimate with Adam. Instead I felt a calm radiating from everywhere we touched and spreading through my limbs, taking with it all of the lingering remnants of my nightmare, and replacing them with peace and calm.

Adam stepped under the spray from the rainfall shower head and I relaxed even more at the feel of the warm water cascading down over both of us.

“What do you need, honey?” Adam asked, his lips close to my ear to be heard over the crashing of the water.

“This,” I replied as I lifted my head and locked eyes with his. “You. Your skin against mine…it’s making everything feel better,” I tried to explain, but I felt so hazy with the relief he was giving me, I almost sounded drunk.

“Okay, baby. Just relax. I’ve got you now,” he told me, then I felt one of his hands slide out from holding me and skim up and down my back slowly and gently. He moved to my thigh and ran his hand back and forth over that too. I knew I was making noises of relief and pleasure with every place he traced with his hand, but I didn’t care. I knew for a fact I had never in my life felt as at peace and protected as I did there in his hold, his huge body surrounding me and making me feel so small and safe.

I lifted my head and looked into his eyes. The deep brown seemed even darker now, and the expression on his face was calm and soothing.

“Kiss me, Adam…please,” I whispered as I lifted myself a little higher and placed my lips over his. I was a little unsure at first, since kissing was a relatively new thing to me. I’d kissed Kane and Jordan, but they both took control from the beginning and I just followed. This – me initiating it – it felt different.

I kissed him a few times tentatively, just little pecks, then I got a little braver and swept my tongue over his full, firm lips. When he opened to me, I slid my tongue over his, teasingly, and that’s when he was obviously done with me controlling the moment. A low growl emanated from him as his hand cradled my cheek, then he took all control, angling my head the way he wanted it, as his tongue slid over mine and roamed around my mouth, dueling with my tongue as I scrambled to climb higher up him, and get closer. My hands slid into his short hair and I pulled a little at the strands, as Adam deepened the kiss even further, and flexed the hand he had under my butt.

I went from feeling a little unsure, to desperate for everything he was willing to give me, in a matter of moments. A moan slipped from my lips as heat consumed me and coursed right to my hot and needy center.

I shamelessly started to grind my aching core against the hard ridges of his stomach, seeking a release I never imagined I could ever want again, not after everything, but I didn’t just want it in that moment. I needed it. I felt like I might just explode if Adam couldn’t find a way to release the need building inside of me.

“Adam!” I gasped as I pulled back from the kiss and pressed my forehead to his.

“I’m here. Tell me what you need,” he said, a little breathlessly.

“Touch me…it’s too much. Please just t-touch me,” I gasped.

“You’re sure?” Adam questioned as he seemed to stop and pull away from me a little.

I moaned at the loss of his heat around me, forcing myself to look up and meet his eyes. “I’m sure. Please Adam. I need this. I need you to show me it can be good.”

“Fuck yes. I’ll show you, baby,” he growled as he encouraged me to unwrap my legs from his waist. I dropped my feet to the tiled shower base, and leaned back against the cool wall behind me.

Adam stepped into me, his body brushing against mine as the water continued to spray over us. His lips landed hard against mine, inciting another furious kiss as his hand slid down to my breast and brushed back and forth ever so gently against both of my nipples, one after the other. Instantly the heat in my center roared to life again and I could feel a throb down there, begging to be eased.

Adam’s hand snaked down my body just before I felt the desperate need to plead with him. His slightly rough, wide fingers brushed against my clit and I cried out as I slammed my hands against the wall for support.

“Eyes on me, baby,” Adam commanded and I instantly complied, looking up until my gaze met his. There was heat in them and it only made me feel even freer to just experience the pleasure, knowing he was enjoying it too. It was written all over his face.

“Adam…that’s so good,” I gasped as he continued to circle the little sensitive bundle of nerves again and again, almost languidly, like he had all of the time in the world.

“Keep those eyes on me. You look so pretty getting all hot and flushed for me,” he said, the rumble of his voice going straight to my core and ratcheting up my need. “So fucking sexy.”

After several moments of the sensuous torture, a moan rose from me again. It wasn’t enough. My body was screaming at me for more. But that panicked me too. I wasn’t ready for this to move to full sex. Just the thought had me panicking and my arousal abating. Could I do that? Was that what my body wanted? Because it definitely wasn’t what my brain wanted. The touching was amazing, and so unlike any of the hell I had remembered, that I was able to separate the two things, but if Adam tried to push into me, I just didn’t know how I would react. Likely not well.

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