Page 41 of Whispers in the Dark

I rose from the couch and moved over to the bed, then fell back onto it. As I closed my eyes, I saw visions of both submissives, and seeing them side by side in my perversefantasy right now, I was stupid to have never noticed the glaring similarities before. I didn’t need to ask a club member or anyone else why I hadn’t. The truth was that I hadn’t wanted to see it.

After Blair’s demise, I’d wanted to distract myself with anything, and Brynn had been the perfect one for me. I’d been too busy trying to acclimate her into a lifestyle we both enjoyed, then later into my personal space. I’d been too sidetracked to think about things I now knew I should’ve. Since scening that first night with Brynn, I hadn’t done as much as even talked to another submissive on the server, or met anyone at Lotus.

“All I felt was you,” I mumbled under my breath. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

I was still too wired to sleep, and I didn’t dare to venture too far away from the hotel. When I got in moods like this, others ultimately paid the price. Aria... Blair... and who knew how many others had crossed me and been unable to live with the consequences afterward? I’d been there with the women, but I couldn’t remember the actual acts. Blacking out was likely my mind’s defense of shielding me from my own actions. One of these days, my rage would be even too much for it to block out. I shuddered to think of what I might do in that moment. As my hands grew shaky, my resolve did as well. Deciding it best to stay in after all, I popped a few sleeping pills into my mouth, then downed them with a few mouthfuls of water. It wasn’t long before I fell asleep.

28.Brynn

The atmosphere in the office had turned strange once Adrian had been gone for two weeks. It seemed every time I was around my co-workers, someone asked me when he was coming back. My reply was a nondescript“He’s still trying to determine how long he needs to be there.”Invariably, the look I got in response was one of disbelief. I managed to overhear a conversation where I learned that this behavior was so unlike Adrian that there was a rumor of a rift between the two of us. The rumor was correct, of course, but I couldn’t have that circulate any further than it already had. I finally reached a breaking point when Andi stood in front of my desk.

“What’s the deal?” She asked in a low voice. I played dumb, giving her a confused look.

“Deal?” I prompted. “You’re going to have to give me some detail about that.”

With an exaggerated eye roll, she continued. “The deal with your boss. Where is he? Why is it that no one seems to know when he’s coming back? That man is so precise and so predictable that people know when he changes his socks, yet he hasn’t booked a flight back from Japan? What gives, Brynn? Youof all people should be able to answer that question. Did you guys have a fight?”

Blowing out a breath, I sat back in my chair and gave her a look that was disapproving. “First of all, if I had had a fight withmy boss,do you think I would still be employed? He’s not the type to put up with things like that.” With a nod, she acknowledged the truth of my statement.

“Second of all, he is an adult and the CEO of this company. It’s no one’s business when, where, and why he is still in Japan. It could be business; it could be personal. He didn’t tell me and I didn’t ask.Because it’s none of my concern.It’s also not the concern of anyone else in this company. He’ll be back when he comes back.”

She shifted back and forth on her feet, a guilty expression on her face. “I’m sorry. You’re right. And it’s not anyone else’s business. You guys are really okay?”

I forced a smile and hoped it looked genuine. “I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

After an invitation to grab lunch soon, Andi left. I waited until she was out of sight, then decided to take a few minutes in Adrian’s office to gather myself.

Using the master key, I opened the heavy door, suppressing a shiver when I slipped inside his office. By appearances alone, it looked like he had just stepped away for a couple of minutes. No one else entering would be able to tell that he had been gone for weeks.

“It still smells like you,” I whispered aloud.

An ache bloomed in my chest the longer I stayed in his space. Christmas was now days away and today was the final day in the office for everyone until the New Year. Adrian may not celebrate holidays, but he was generous enough with the staff to close BT for the last half of the month. Part of me, the foolish part, hadhoped we might spend part of the holiday together. Things had seemed so positive until he’d come to my house for dinner.

“I still need to talk to you about Blair,” I said, walking toward his desk. The massive wood structure was full of files, notebooks, and papers, but everything was organized into distinct piles. If one were to ask the man where a certain item was, he would be able to go to its specific location and produce it.

Spotting his planner, I went to it, rounding the desk to sit in the leather chair that had been sat in so much, it was conformed to the contours of Adrian’s body. It, too, smelled like him, and I began to blush remembering the numerous times I had been bent over that chair during the middle of a workday.

“Focus.Focus,” I chided myself, beginning to flip through pages on the day planner.

He was one of the few people I knew that still liked to have appointments in writing. He would write things down, then scan them into his phone, where an app would sync all of his calendars at the same time. I had downloaded that same app, and I had to admit, it was very handy. It was easy to keep track of myself, Adrian, and Lug Nut. The trip that he was currently on was indeed in the planner, but he should have been back last week. I had no way of knowing what he was going to do next or when.

Walking back to my desk dejectedly, I heard a soft ping and noticed an email from HR. We had just gotten the go ahead to leave early for the holidays. Within a few minutes, Andi was back at my desk.

“Soooooo… join us for Christmas cocktails?”

Not feeling very social, I politely declined with a small white lie. “I would but I’m picking up my dad from the airport. We’re spending the holidays together.”

It wasn’t completely false. I would be picking up my dad from the airport, but he was coming in tomorrow morning. I couldalways use the extra time to finish wrapping his gifts and making sure his room was all ready for him.

Neither one of us had done anything for Christmas last year, so this was a small milestone of sorts. As we had done for Blair’s birthday, he and I were finding a new normal for all the birthdays and anniversaries we would have without her.

A trip to the grocery store and liquor store later, I was back at home making a huge pot of chili for tomorrow, which was one of my dad’s favorites. When the weather turned colder, he gravitated to the comfort foods that we had all loved: chili, stew, chicken and dumplings, and mac and cheese. I would cook my heart out while he was there and I couldn’t wait.

Lug Nut and I took as long a walk as we could stand in the bitterly cold wind. He was a trooper wearing booties on his paws to keep them warm and even tolerating a coat. The boy had short fur and would shiver in lower temperatures. He got a lot of compliments and pats from the neighbors for his stylish outfit.

Once we were in and fed for the night, I decided I deserved another hot bath and evening of pampering. If for nothing else, it was a reward for continuing to show up every day for work and do the job I was hired to do as best I could.

The next morning, I fought my way through airport traffic, inching forward to the ‘Arriving Passengers’ area. My father refused to have me park in the garage and wait. He thought it was more efficient for me to drive around a few laps so I could pick him up curbside. I indulged him but it was actually more of a hassle for me to do things this way.

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