Page 51 of Whispers in the Dark

Adrian would not have been able to stay overnight, much less get in the door to begin with. I’d have to figure out how to get those two reconciled if he was going to spend time at my house. But…was he going to spend time at my house now? It’s not like I was completely clear where we stood after last night. He’d acted off when he’d been here and I wasn’t quite sure why.

I thought we were in an okay place as of this morning, but the little voice in the back of my head cautioned me not to jump back in with both feet. He’d at least heard me out when I told him more about Blair. I hoped we would be able to talk moreabout her. Maybe he might even give me more insight about her in relation to Lotus and the lifestyle, though I may notwantto hear more about that part of her life. I could still read about it, as I had several diaries not yet touched; I hoped that I might finally begin to put enough pieces together as to what led up to her death.

Satisfied that the dog would be taking a long nap, I puttered around the house, prepping for the rest of the week ahead. I would go into the office tomorrow and make sure that Adrian had whatever he needed for what I knew to be a long list of calls and meetings. While he was gone, I managed to keep pace with him so he didn’t have a true reason to get rid of me. Not for job performance anyway. I wasn’t entirely sure, but I didn’t think I needed to worry about my job. I figured the rest could work itself out.

My four-legged roommate slept the sleep of an animal that felt completely safe and secure in his environment. My movement around the space didn’t faze him and for that I was glad. I glanced up at the top of the fridge where the flower arrangement, sans lilies, would remain until the flowers had died. Lug Nut had turned three this year and my hope was to have him for many, many more years to come.

My meal prep for the week now finished, I tossed a load of laundry into the dryer and realized in that moment that I had no other chores for the evening. I would not subject the dog to the usual walk around the neighborhood before bed. We would still go out, but it would definitely be a short trip. Deciding to start the new year off by digging back into my sister’s diaries, I retrieved the volume I had been reviewing up until a few months ago and opened it to the marker I had placed between pages.

Blair’s neat, no-frills script made me smile a bit. Her handwriting had always earned her high marks in school. Mine, on the other hand, was a combination of cursive and printingand I wrote straight up and down. Not even one of my letters ever looked like the ones on the stupid sample charts placed around various classrooms. Considering handwriting wasn’t even really taught anymore, I bet my straight-backed letters would be appreciated by teachers now because my writing was at least legible.

Settling on the couch I read and took notes as I had been doing. The notes were important so I could outline facts and look for potential connections. I still couldn’t believe that there was so very little movement on her case…I often wondered if anyone was even working on her murder. Maybe she had been mislabeled as a working girl because of where she had been found and the file was on a pile of things that someonemightget toifthey had the time. She deserved better than that.

Most of the journal content was like the other volumes, but as I neared the end of it, there were another few pages of lists. Dom/sub pairings, dates and times of encounters, and commentary about the individual parties themselves. Why did she feel the need to document this way? Part of me felt like I should reach out to the detective who had contacted me originally…Mulroney, McIlhenny, Muldoon… Meloni. That was it. Detective Elliot Meloni with SFPD. Maybe it was time for me to reach out to him and mention the lists I’d found, but I would make photocopies and just hand those over if directed to do so. There was no way I would just turn over the journals, especially because I hadn’t even finished reading through them all. No one would get those journals until I was ready. I’d make copies at work tomorrow and then decide when to take the next step.

I heard a yawn and a snuffle from across the room and saw my roommate begin to stir. The sun had almost disappeared, which told me I had been immersed for hours. We both ate and drank, and a short walk later found us back where we started. I’d try to take him out one more time before I turned in for the nightand if he didn’t feel up to it, well, it wasn’t my preference, but I did have a patch of artificial grass I could drag out as a backup. Blair had used it when she was potty training Lug Nut, so he did know what it was for. Hopefully, we would both get some sleep tonight.

The next morning, I gave myself a mental high-five when I beat Adrian into the office. His gaze registered brief surprise before he nodded and continued past, explaining to the listener on the other end of the phone why his proposed theory needed to be reworked. Based on the clipped tone, it didn’t sound like the caller was taking the news very well.

I went to the kitchen and prepared a cup of coffee the way he liked it and by the time I made it back to Adrian’s office, the conversation had ended. After a brief knock, I entered and placed the steaming cup of dark liquid on his desk. I knew he was busy, so I turned on my heel to leave. His question made me pause.

“I trust you got Screw Top back home okay?”

Whipping around, I was just about to pop off with a flippant remark when I saw the tiniest twitch at the corner of his mouth. The jackass was teasing me.

“Yes. Lug Nut is back safe, sound and only slightly worse for wear. Normally, Kevin would watch the dog at his place, but today, he’ll be at mine.” Adrian’s fingers paused over his keyboard.

“You don’t mind a strange man spending time in your house?” He said.

“If I did mind, I would’ve never let you in,” I quipped. “Kevin isn’t strange. He’s my neighbor. He looked out for… he looked out for my sister and he’s done the same for me. It’s nice having someone you can depend on. He’s good to my dog, he’s a good person and his boyfriend makes some of the best ramen I haveever had in my life. Everyone should have a Kevin as their neighbor.”

Adrian glanced upward. “I prefer not to have neighbors at all, but alas, that isn’t possible living in the city. For this afternoon’s meeting, I’ll need…”

Just like that, he was back to all business. “Check your inbox, please. I sent it before the holiday. We’ve got enough time to make any needed updates and I’ll of course make it my priority.”

Things between us really did feel more normal. As I walked back to my desk, I could only hope they stayed that way.

36.Adrian

Everything was finally back to normal which was a comfort to me. At the office, it was as if nothing had ever happened between Brynn and me, even though I knew differently. She’d shared with me her fears about the detectives never finding her sister’s killer, but her annoying optimism that they one day would. While I could provide some of the answers she was desperately seeking, I couldn’t provide most so there was no use.

What good would my admission of guilt be if I couldn’t give anything more?

I’d killed Blair. I didn’t remember doing so, but I knew that I had. There was no way I could’ve woken up with blood on my hands, and not have committed the act. Blair had been callously murdered the exact same way that Aria had which eliminated all chances of this being nothing more than a coincidence.

Despite all of that, something else bothered me even more. Ever since I’d woken up beside Brynn, she’d mentioned a time or two about how out of sorts I had been. Never had I imagined that someone had come into contact with me during one of my blackout periods and lived to tell about it later, especially someone I’d been as angry as I had been with her.

She doesn’t have to tell me everything, when I can’t do the same for her.

Despite the reminder, I felt like the world’s biggest hypocrite. There was also an inherent fear that she would remember something else about that night that would blow my world to bits. After Aria’s death, my father had made me swear I’d never speak about that night to anyone, and I hadn’t. The same applied to Blair, but for how long?

“This is fucking pointless. I’m going to Lotus,” I said aloud as I closed my laptop and grabbed my keys.

After getting my briefcase, I walked out into the main area where Brynn was closing down things herself. I stared at her briefly, and when she sensed my presence, she looked up at me and smiled.

“You’re leaving early tonight, Adrian.”

It was more of an observation than question, but I still answered it nonetheless. “I am going to the club. Would you like to join me this evening?”

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