Page 69 of Corrupt Vows

She’s in danger.

Chapter 19

Serenity Vivaldi

When my hand finds nothingbut cold sheets beside me, I wrap my arms around myself and roll over. No matter what I do or how epic our nights are, I always wake up alone.

Nico hasn’t tried to hide his morning absences for several days, but when I ask him why, he distracts me with kisses or food or makes lame excuses about work. I rub my hands over my face and take a deep breath.

I’m not being fair. His work is anything but lame. Me craving his closeness in the morning is purely selfish.

But it hurts no matter how I try to trick myself into saying it doesn’t.

I sit up and swing my legs to the floor, but clench my fists in the comforter and stay seated as the room spins. The stress of the last few weeks keeps randomly catching up with me.

Yesterday I almost lost my lunch when I drank too much coffee on an empty stomach.

The day before, I couldn’t get a weird smell out of my nostrils.

Three days ago, I lost track of time and spent nine hours bent over my sculpture before coming out of my muse-inspired tunnel vision. I stood up too fast and passed out for the first time in my life. I’ll never live down the embarrassment of waking with my classmates staring down at me as my instructor tapped my cheek and called my name.

I haven’t told Nico, and I never will. He’ll no doubt demand a goon sit at the back of the studio if I do.

Nausea rolls through me, but I breathe through my nose until it passes. My head stops spinning. I open the water bottle from my bedside table and take a few sips before slowly standing. When I don’t feel like throwing up or passing out, I stumble into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face until I feel human again. After drying my face on a towel, I reach for my toothbrush and toothpaste but find the tube empty. I toss it in the trash before opening the cabinet under the sink. As I reach for new toothpaste, the box of tampons tucked in the back catches my eye. My heart lurches.

I scoff and close the cabinet. Smear toothpaste on my toothbrush. Chuckle at my silly response. Stick my toothbrush into my mouth and toss the toothpaste on the counter. Start brushing my teeth. Pause as white foam escapes my mouth.

Dates flit through my mind.

We have less than two months until our wedding. It’s only been nine weeks since I learned I’d be taking Camilla’s place.

I lost my virginity to Nico Russo eight weeks ago.

Eight weeks. No bleeding.

Fuck.

Dizziness. Nausea. Sensitivity to smells.

Nope. I’m not doing this.

I close my eyes and finish brushing my teeth, but my aggression makes my gums bleed. Pink stains the toothpaste as I spit into the sink.

Sensitive gums? Is that another sign?

My heart pounds in my ears. I search the bathroom but don’t find what I need, so I press the heels of my palms over my eyes and force myself to breathe normally. Mini-freakout averted, I get dressed and go through my normal morning routine before hiding in the corner of my closet and calling Natalie. After an awkward moment, I blurt out my request.

Nico will never give me the freedom to walk into a drugstore alone and buy what I need in secret. She’s my best bet,ifshe can keep it quiet.

She squeals in excitement, but I shush her and whisper my plea. When she finally calms down, she agrees and promises to meet me for lunch on campus.

I hang up and take a few deep breaths before joining Nico in the kitchen. After a light breakfast, I rush him through leaving the apartment under the guise of wanting to get to work on my sculpture, and once I get to the studio, I surprise myself by losing myself in shaping clay until my phone rings. I wipe my hands on my apron and answer Nat’s call on my way to the sink at the back of the classroom. She agrees to wait in the hall for me.

Under the guise of our normal hello hug, she passes me the test. I tuck it in my bag and wave an annoyed hand at my bodyguard. He clears the bathroom stalls before giving me approval to enter. Natalie waits in the hall.

I rush into the handicap stall, pee on the stick, shove it back in the sleeve, and set it upside down on the tiny shelf. In a fit of nerves, I use the two tests still in the box, place them beside the first, start a timer on my phone, and bounce my leg in impatience.

Deciding I can’t wait on the toilet for the results, I grab some paper, clean myself up, fix my clothes, and wash my hands before pacing back and forth in the stall.

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