Page 90 of Snowman

Still, I couldn't help but wish. I wished for a better life, one that didn't come in broken pieces. I wanted more. I needed more. And in that moment, I knew what I had to do.

This baby.

No matter how many times I have told myself I was enough, no matter how many times I put everyone else's needs ahead of my own, this time was different, this time, I had no choice.

This time, it had to beme.

For you, my baby, just for you.

TWENTY EIGHT

BREE

The door was wideopen when I arrived. Stepping inside, I noticed two suitcases sitting by the hallway table, neatly placed as if they were waiting for something or someone. I looked around, my breath catching, but the house was still.

He wasn't here.

A strange pressure built in my chest, suffocating me. My heart pounded, each beat sharper than the last. My hands trembled, and I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my blurred vision. I reached out instinctively, hoping for something solid to hold on to, but my fingers found nothing but empty space.

That's when I saw a letter on the marble-topped table. My legs felt unsteady as I moved closer,I picked it up, the paper shaking in my grip as my tears began to fall. The first words, scrawled in his handwriting, hit me like a whisper I wasn't ready to hear:

"To Bree."

"I will never be the man you deserve, even if you think I already am.

Lena once told me, "The world breaks little girls so little boys can live." I didn't understand what she meant until I found out you were pregnant. I was raised to be one of those little boys, shaped by selfishness and entitlement. And maybe that's why I held on to you so tightly, never giving you the chance to leave. Maybe I thought if I kept you close enough, I could keep myself from falling apart.

When I walked into the bathroom and saw you holding that test, I knew. I knew you'd keep the baby. I knew you'd make a choice I wasn't ready to make. And I knew I'd hurt you when I told you I couldn't stay to raise this child with you. But I swear, it's because I believed it was for the best, for both of you.

If you have a boy, promise me you'll teach him to be the kind of man who lifts little girls up, not tears them down. Teach him to fight for them, to change the world for them. And if you have a girl, teach her to own her place in the world. Show her how to stand tall and hold her ground, so no one, not any little boy, can take it from her.

Lena was right, the world does break little girls, but sometimes, it breaks little boys too.

If there were another universe, I would call you again, just to hear your voice. I would hold on tighter on number one and love you better, never let go. But this isn't that universe.

You'll always be my number one, Birdie. Always have been. Always will be.

Love,

Thor"

I sank to my knees, the letter crumpling in my hand, its edges digging into my skin. My chest tightened, and a scream ripped out of me. Pain shot through me, so sharp, and I doubled over, my forehead brushing the floor.

The door flew open, and Julia and Victoria rushed in. Their voices overlapped, worried, and unsure, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. They tried to lift me, their hands under my arms, pulling gently, but my body wouldn't move.

I just stayed there.

I patted my pocket, frantic.

Empty.

Panic spiked, and I shouted. "Phone! I need a phone!"

Julia fumbled through her purse and handed me hers. My fingers trembled as I grabbed it, the plastic warm from her hand. I brought it close, the numbers swimming before me.

I pressed one.

Nothing happened.