Page 37 of Forbidden Knots

I ran and ran, tears falling down my cheeks like raindrops from the sky, leaving a trail behind me. My feet were already all scratched, full of sand and thorns, but I didn't feel anything. My body was already numb to all the bruises; this was just another one among many. And I just wanted to go to him so he could cure me, so he could heal my wounds as he did before. I wanted to be at peace with him. At home.

But my feet were betraying me. I fell. His black shirt is now full of branches, and...

"What?" I whispered, "Is this?" I screamed.

My hands were covered with blood. I knelt down, and as I tilted my head up, a pale face, scratched, with her eyes losing color, laid Sophie, her soul leaving the body.

I screamed again.

I was crawling until I hit the oak tree.

I screamed again.

Her blood was on my hands, and she was all alone lying there, pines and branches covering her body. Her wrists were cut with a piece of glass she held, and her face was scratched as if she wanted to leave with a picture that wasn't her.

"Sophie," I whispered, my heart escaping me.

"Sophie," I said slowly, crawling back to her. "Wake up," I said, my voice barely audible.

More footsteps approached, and I stood up as quickly as possible and ran. I ran, leaving her there. She had finally done it. She killed herself.

She had thought about doing it all those times, and yet again I didn't read the signs

I cried, my gut twisting in knots inside me. I imagined how Tristan would be crushed, how he wouldn't want to see me again.

With bloody hands, I tried to rub my eyes.

"This is a dream," I repeated, "This is a dream."

Again, that circus melody echoed in the back of my mind, creating a madness of its kind.

I ran again, my steps quicker and quicker, until I saw lights again. This time, they were the lights of the city. I ran faster now, not even checking his window.

I just ran to Grandma's house. I needed to escape. I knew he wouldn't forgive me for leaving her there.

What if she wasn't dead? What if I killed her by leaving her?

The door was unlocked. I entered and closed it behind me. My body slid down to the cold tile floor.

"Rose?" Grandma called out, "Rose?" she asked again.

She stood at the topof the stairs, her eyes lifeless, her crooked teeth smiling at me. She wore her long white dress. Her old skin reminded me of the oak tree, and as she made her way towards me, it was like she was reliving all of it.

I stared at the black spot of mold on the ceiling. She came closer to me, taking my hand, my bloody hand staining her white dress. "Rose, what did you do now?" she asked.

I was mute. I couldn't speak. I didn't resist. I was like a broken doll, and I let my body be led by her.

She took me under her arm, helping me get up. "You've been a bad, bad girl, Rose," she whispered. "We have to hide."

My mind was a blank page. My eyes were losing their sight as I followed her. She led me to the basement. Each step was easier now. It was like someone had deleted my entire life, my pages of existence, and all I could do was hide. Pretend I never existed. Pretend I wasn't truly here.

It's been two weeks, three hours, and six minutes since I met Sophie. It's been that long since I laughed, cried, and thought that life was moving in a better direction. But now it's been twenty-three minutes and fifty-two seconds since all of that died with her.

Sophie died. She left. My soul left with her, and my body was slowly dying without her.

I lost a friend a long time ago, with the first blow of the whip, but now I lost hope. I thought that maybe after tonight, after I turned to Tristan, he would make everything better. Force us to be normal again. But that hope died too. Shadow will never forgive me, and Tristan will hate me. I've become nobody. Just another thunder in the sky.

Grandma sat me down on a filthy old mattress that was next to the old brick wall. She gave me a bucket with warm water and a filthy old cloth.

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