Page 24 of Forbidden Knots

"How can you even say that?" I choked on my own words. "I know you think it will pass, but those thoughts will stick with you no matter how life turns into a brighter light."

She looked at me, her eyes meeting mine.

"Don’t you dare," I whispered, wiping her tears. "When people leave, they leave a hole in your heart. You try to fill it with thoughts of something better, but then you realize what you've lost, and it moves in this circle repeatedly. Don’t do it, Sophie. You can’t."

"I might," she said, her words filtering through her tears. "Even if the world is a happy place now, I still don’t belong."

"No one does," I shouted, standing up, and slapping my thighs with my hands. "No one belongs anywhere, but we can still choose to make a better life."

"My mom thought I’d be better off without her, but she made my life more miserable after she tried to do it. And if you do it, Sophie, even if you try, you will make my life hell. And I can’t live in hell without you." I said, my voice breaking. Her eyes filled with tears.

"I’m sorry," she sobbed. "I’m so, so sorry."

I spread my arms, and Sophie walked right into them. I held her so close, not wanting to let her go. She was the only real thing I had in my life right now, and I couldn't lose her. I had many friends, but no one stuck around when my life turned upside down. In this chaos, I met Sophie, and even though we were both broken in our darkness, we held onto each other to survive. Life was a bit better, just a little, because of her.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I need you to tell me 'I suck' every time I want to die."

"Well, you suck!" I said, smiling.

She chuckled. "We both do," she said.

As we laughed at one of the most serious conversations we had since our fight, Tristan walked in. His eyes scanned us before he clapped his hands and asked, "What did I miss?"

His cologne filled the room with a woody musk, and his face was bright. It made me wonder if he had seen Chiara last night.

Was she the one who put a smile on his face, or did he just have a good night's sleep?

I wanted to ask him so badly, but every time I tried, I reminded myself he was forbidden. Like a knot I couldn't untangle, he stuck there, making me believe something could happen, but it wouldn't or shouldn't. It drove me crazy, and I wasn't ready to fall into that trap.

"So?" he asked again.

"Just sharing our last two brain cells with each other," Sophie said. "We laughed to tears."

I nodded, smiling. I knew she didn't want to worry him. "I should go," I said.

"No, stay for breakfast," Sophie insisted. "I'll make pancakes."

"I told Grandma I'd be home by nine, but you can always bring pancakes to the cliffs," I said, winking at her.

"Deal," she said, spitting into her palm and holding out her hand.

"That's gross," I said, pointing to her palm.

"I agree," Tristan said, walking out.

As soon as he was gone, I spit in my palm and slapped hers. We both said, "EWWW" before chuckling.

Grandma was still sleeping, but she had left the front door open so I could come in. I sneaked my way inside the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind me. The thought of whether she left the door open every night for anyone to come in or just for me sent chills down my spine. I didn’t want to dwell on it too much, as it would make me even more restless each night.

My bed was still made, and as I approached it, I noticed a small envelope with"Storm"written on it and a small lightning bolt drawn on the front. On top of it was a branch of oleander flower.

"Shadow," I whispered, my blood freezing in place. I opened the envelope and found a Polaroid picture of my bare chest inside.

I gasped, and the Polaroid slipped from my fingers, falling to the floor. I heard footsteps behind me and quickly stepped on it so Grandma wouldn’t see.

"Buongiorno, bambina," she said cheerfully. "How did you sleep?"

"Very well," I chuckled nervously. "No one is sleepwalking in that house," I mumbled.

---