Page 19 of Benji

I shrugged. “Most people are. Some are appalled. At best, some just pretend they don’t know. They certainly don’t talk and laugh about it.”

His eyebrows drew together. “I’m sorry if anyone made you feel lesser than you deserve. I don’t see it as a bad thing. Certainly not something to be appalled about.” He chewed on his bottom lip for a second. “In fact, I’m kind of fascinated by it. Not in a weird, fetishising way.”

I snorted.

“I just...” He sighed. “Some people can’t get past the stigma, and that’s on them, not on you. It’s no different to any other paid work, and at the end of the day, like most other jobs, it’s just what you do. It’s not who you are.”

I stared at him, stunned. It was rare that I was rendered speechless. I’d learned how to school my reactions, keeping emotions bottled away. I could go with the flow 99% of the time. No matter what a john said, I could act as if I’d expected nothing less.

But this genuinely surprised me.

Because being a rent boy was just what I did. It wasn’t what defined me. And to hear him say that, for him to believe that, made my chest all tight.

“What about you? Is being a lawyer what you do or who you are?”

He smirked at me again. “I’m probably fifty-fifty. I uphold the law, and I’m a law-abiding citizen. But what I do is mostly just paperwork, making sure legal cases are watertight;i’s dotted andt’s crossed. That kind of thing. I’d like to think I’d be remembered for more than my job.”

Damn, if I wasn’t smiling at him. Not an act, not to get what I wanted, not to appease the paying customer.

“I like you,” I said. “You’re agoodperson.”

He seemed a little offended. “Oh, thanks.”

“Believe me when I say that’s a freaking rarity in my world. Being a good person, doing the right thing when no one’s watching is like winning the lotto.”

He chuckled quietly. “Well, I guess being called a good person is better than being callednice.”

“But you’re nice too.”

He put his hand to his heart, pretending to be hurt. “Ow. I’m wounded.”

I laughed. “And you’re sexy as fuck. And rich! And you’re very generous and kind, and an awesome cook. Believe me, you are like winning the lottery, and the fact you’re single is a crime.”

He grinned at me. “A crime, huh?”

“Yes! A crime. There should be a line of men at your door. The fact there isn’t makes me wonder... do you have some insane fetish I don’t know about?” I looked around his apartment. “There’s no locked door with a hazmat sign on it or a chest freezer full of body parts, right?”

He stared at me.

I stared right back. “Right?”

Then he barked out a laugh. “No! I’m law-abiding, remember?” He chuckled. “Jesus. What kind of shit have you seen?”

I laughed with him but pretended to zip my mouth and throw away the key. “No can tell.”

He put his hands up. “Good. I don’t want to know. That way I can’t be incriminated.”

I sighed and collected our plates. “Let me clean up,” I said, but when I stood, my back twinged again.

Nolan was quick to grab my arm. “You’re not okay,” he murmured. “I’ll take care of these. You go back to bed. I’ll bring you in some more pills and the heat pack.”

He took the plates from me and set them back on the table. He was standing close enough for me to feel the warmth of his body, and with his hand still on my arm, he proceeded to lead me back to his bed.

I could have protested, but damn, if it didn’t feel good to be looked after...

By him. This kind and genuine person. It didn’t hurt that he was hot and that his apartment was like a five-star hotel, but he was gentle and caring.

So I let him lead me to his room, to his bed, and he fixed the bedding, sat me down, and once I’d got myself situated, he pulled the covers up.

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