Page 7 of Desirous

“There’s nothing he could say that I need to hear.”

My phone falls silent, and I stuff it under the pillow to hide it away from my sight. Sadie points at it and grimaces. “Is that you pretending you’re smothering him?”

I hadn’t thought of that. Maybe she does have a dark side after all.

“No. That’s me ignoring him. Forever.”

After giving me sympathetic eyes that make me feel like some kind of sad thing, she says, “I’m going to eat dinner. Let me know if you’re interested in having any. I got a turkey club from that place we used to go to all the time.”

“The place that failed the health inspection?” I ask in horror. “What made you go back there?”

Always giving people a second chance. I swear it’s going to get her hurt someday. At the very least it might get her food poisoning tonight.

“It’s under new ownership, so I thought I’d give it a try. The club looks good. Sure you don’t want some?”

I give her a nod and leave her to the potential food poisoning case she’s likely to get from mayonnaise that’s been out too long in that skeevy diner’s kitchen.

Closing my eyes, I try not to focus on the possibility that Sadie will be spending the entire night worshipping the porcelain goddess. Better to think about how miserable Alex feels knowing there’s at least one person in this world who won’t let him charm his way out of the mess he made. I hope he feels like shit. It’s the least he could do since I’ve felt that way from the moment I realized he wasn’t going to stand up for me with Chef on Chef’s producers.

The moment the tears start welling in my eyes, I shake my head to will them away. No more tears for that jackass. I will not give him any more. He doesn’t deserve them.

I curl up into a ball under my nice, safe covers and hope to drift off to sleep. At least then I won’t be thinking about how terrible my life is. The police haven’t come to take me away for attempted murder, so I guess that’s something good. They’ll probably show up eventually, though.

My mind drifts back to the night Alex and I spent together, and for a few sweet moments, I remember how incredible it felt to be with him. For the first time in my life, I was the kind of woman I always dreamed of being. I don’t want to give him any credit for that, but he brought that out in me.

And then he betrayed me the first chance he could get.

God, I don’t want to think about him or what happened anymore. If I could just fall asleep, I wouldn’t have to feel or remember anything. Before I can drift off, though, I hear someone knocking at the front door. Maybe Sadie already called the ambulance to take her to the hospital to get her stomach pumped. I knew that sandwich wouldn’t be okay.

Then a few seconds later, I hear her open it and say the one name I didn’t expect her to say. “Oh. Hi, Alex.”

Did he actually come here to try to talk to me? I underestimated him. I thought he’d give up trying when I didn’tanswer his nearly ten phone calls. Then it dawns on me. Of course, he came here. Charm works so much better in person.

Well, he can forget that because I’m not getting out of this bed.

“Is Kat here?” he asks in a voice that sounds like the one he used when he attempted to make me see he wasn’t a total snake that day he betrayed me.

“She doesn’t want to see you. I’m sorry,” Sadie says, far too nicely, in my opinion.

Don’t be pleasant to him! He doesn’t deserve it. Trust me.

“I just want to talk to her. I tried calling a bunch of times, but she won’t answer my calls. Can you please tell her I’m here?”

Damn, he really does sound sad. Maybe I should at least yell out that I don’t want to see him. At least that will give him the clue that I’ll never answer his calls so he can stop trying.

No! Do not fall for that sad sack man voice. Every male on the planet has that voice they use when they know they’ve fucked up, and it works on far too many women. He feels bad? Good. He should feel bad. I feel like shit, so he should too.

“I heard what you did, Alex. I thought you were a better person than that,” Sadie says in a tone that’s downright disapproving.

Yes, girl! That’s the way to do it! Don’t let him stand there and give you those puppy dog eyes and that pathetic voice to make you think he’s torn up about things. Tell him he’s a bastard.

“I didn’t mean to fuck up like I did. I know I messed everything up, but I want to make amends.”

The conversation falls silent, and I inch over on the bed to get a better chance of hearing what they’re saying. Is she whispering something to him? Or is she giving him her best look of disappointment? I’ve seen that expression once or twice. Coming from someone as sweet as Sadie, it’s brutal.

“Well, she doesn’t want to talk to you. I know that.”

“Will you tell her I came by and I want to talk to her? Please?”

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