Page 15 of Desirous

CHAPTER SEVEN

Kat

Even though Iswore I’d stay strong and not let Deidre get to me, I barely walk into the kitchen at Frederick’s before she starts in on me. I swear one day I’m going to walk out the door and never come back to this place.

But for now, I have to earn money and a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush. Or whatever the hell that saying is about having a job being better than having the possibility of a better job somewhere else. One pays real money I can use for my rent and to eat, and another only makes me feel better that someday this won’t be my life.

“So there’s the reality TV star,” Deidre calls across the kitchen at me. “How does it feel to be back in the real world, Kat?”

Lovely. Just fucking lovely, you evil Gorgon.

I give her a tiny smile I don’t mean and head toward the breakroom to get dressed for my shift. When I get to my locker, I open it to find my white chef’s jacket with my name embroidered on the breast is gone. Did I take it home when I knew I’d be gonefor a week? No, that doesn’t make any sense. The restaurant launders all our clothes we wear on our shifts, so I wouldn’t bother taking it home.

Just as I turn to walk out into the kitchen and ask Deidre what’s going on, she comes into the breakroom looking as pleased as punch about something. She’s the type who rejoices when someone gets hurt, so maybe she saw a small child fall down out in the dining room.

“Before you ask, yes, your jacket is gone. You’ll have to use one of the spares. Also, since you were gone enjoying life in Hollywood, I had to replace you, so now you’re working on the line with salads.”

Rage courses through me, and it takes every ounce of my energy to not flip out on her. “Salads? Why? I’m one of the chefs in this kitchen. Salads is where you put people who are just starting out.”

“Well, I had to make sure the kitchen was properly staffed, and you chose to go off and do that reality show, so you really shouldn’t be surprised, Kat. Also, your salary is now two dollars less since you aren’t as responsible on salads as you had to be as an actual chef.”

She decreased my pay by two dollars? What a bitch!

Anger bites at me, but I keep it at bay as I ask, “Why are you like this with me? You don’t treat anyone else in this restaurant as bad as you treat me. Why? What have I ever done to you to deserve it?”

She rolls her beady eyes at me and straightens her toque over her frizzy blond hair, the name she insists we all call our chef’s hats, as if calling it by a fancy name makes her more important. “Kat, I know because your last name is Truesdale that you think you have some special talent in this business, but you’re just like everyone else. I treat you no differently than I do anyone else.The restaurant is going to be busy tonight, so get back into that kitchen and start making salads.”

I knew that one time my father and mother came to eat here was a mistake. Ever since that night, Deidre has hated me even more than she used to. You’d swear I drop my father’s name and his standing in our business into every damn conversation I have here. I don’t think I’ve mentioned him a single time, so why she’s so bothered by him and what is reputation is baffles me.

Spinning on her heel, she storms out of the breakroom as I feel tears begin to fill my eyes. No, I will not cry at work. If the man I actually care for doesn’t get any more of my tears, this nasty bitch I can barely stand can’t have any either.

Even more miserable than before I got here, I slip into my black and white checkered chef’s pants and black work shoes and head toward the ladies’ room to throw some cool water on my face. I can’t work for the next eight hours in that kitchen if I don’t calm down.

As I stare into the mirror above the sink, all I see is failure. I got kicked off Chef on Chef. I believed Alex and I had something when clearly we didn’t have anything more than great sex. And now I’m relegated to making fucking salads in a kitchen where I used to make great food.

I fill my palms with cold water and splash my cheeks. It feels refreshing, but that’s momentary. Not a minute after I walk back into the kitchen, I know I’ll be hot under the collar and wanting to smack Deidre straight across the face.

That I can’t because I’d lose my job is more frustrating than anything else.

“You can do this,” I whisper to my reflection in front of me. “You have to do this. Deep breaths and stay calm.”

Someone walks in as I’m giving myself a pep talk, so I quickly end the inspirational chat with my reflection. Turning to see who just joined me, I smile when I realize it’s Heidi. One of the bestservers Frederick’s has, she’s a beautiful blonde who never fails to brighten up a room.

“Hey, you!” she says, opening her arms to bring me in for a hug. “I missed you last week. I heard you aren’t doing that show. Are you okay? I know it meant a lot to you.”

I wave away the idea that being thrown off Chef on Chef bothers me. “It’s okay. It wasn’t really about cooking, to be honest, so I’m okay not being on it. I would have liked the million-dollar prize, though.”

“Who wouldn’t?” she says with a chuckle as she pulls me tightly to her.

I know it’s silly since we’re only work friends, but the feel of her arms around me makes me want to cry. I can’t because I don’t want everyone here to think Deidre got to me, but that’s all I want to do as she holds me in her embrace.

When she releases me, she looks like she wants to cry too. “Hey, I wanted to tell you before anyone else does. Rafe is getting married.”

She stops after dropping that bombshell, but I have the sense there’s more. I know what the next sentence is, though, so she doesn’t have to even say it.

But when she does, my chest feels like someone’s run me clean through with a sword.

“To that girl who he…you know.”

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