Page 28 of Desirous

And with that, I walk down the sidewalk and pass Randy who’s no longer holding the camera up to do his job. “Let’s go. I need to get home.”

I consider saying something to him about whatever she put into my drink, but I decide to wait until I find out what it is. Better to have all the facts before I go to Maria and Shane.

Then they can know Kat wasn’t the person who poisoned Murphy. Emma did.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Kat

I runpast Sadie sitting on the living room couch when I get home from CK, throwing myself into bed to cry myself to sleep after all that happened. No matter how much I want Alex, I can’t forgive him or forget what he did.

Even as I wish I could more than he will ever know.

“Where have you been?” she asks and then sits on the bed next to me.

Into the pillow, I say, “I went to CK. You know, the place where Alex works.”

“Whatever for?” Sadie asks in a voice filled with shock. Or maybe it’s horror. Whatever it is, she sounds like she wants to shake me by the shoulders and hopes it helps get some sense into me.

Turning my head to look at her, I wipe my eyes and admit the truth. “I don’t know. Or I do and it’s so damn sad I hate to admit it.”

“Were you hoping he’d be there?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted to be there where he works. I’m a pathetic mess.”

Sadie gently pats my arm and tries to comfort me. “Well, I’m guessing something happened by the way you’re acting. Did you see him?”

I nod, almost too humiliated to admit what happened to her. “He was on a date with that Emma girl from the show. He looked so happy, Sadie. I swear, he looked like he did when he and I…”

The words get stuck in my throat. Spent the night together. How could I have been so stupid?

“Was it for the show? Like one of those reality TV dates? Because if it was, then he had to pretend he was having a good time. You know how that works,” she says, trying too hard to make me feel better.

“I know,” I sulk. “I know it wasn’t real. He told me it wasn’t. It’s just that he looked so happy, and it was all pretend. Was it all pretend with me because he just wanted to sleep with me?”

My best friend smiles like I’m the biggest fool in the world. “Honey, can I give you a little tough love? No man in the world would pretend to be happy just to sleep with you. You make it far too hard for any of them and getting sex from you wouldn’t be worth it for all they’d have to do.”

Damn, that is tough love.

“Wow, that came out pretty harsh. Did you mean it to be that cruel?” I ask with a sniffle.

She shrugs like she isn’t sorry, even though I know she cares about me. “It is what it is, Kat. You’re a lot of work, but you’re the kind of girlfriend most guys would kill for once they grow up. You just happen to date men who are oversized children.”

A lot of work. Well, she’s not wrong there. All those defensive walls I’ve built up exist for a good reason, after all.

Then what Heidi told me at work comes rushing back into my brain, and for the first time since I heard the news about Rafe’simpending marriage, I cry. As I sob into the pillow, Sadie rubs my back.

“I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings. I’m sorry.”

Wiping my eyes, I shake my head at her mistake and sniffle again. “I’m not crying because of that. I’m crying because I heard Rafe is getting married to that homewrecker he cheated on me with. On top of everything else, the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with is going to walk down the aisle to spend the rest of his life with her.”

“Aw, honey. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have said all those things if I knew.”

Tired of crying and feeling bad, I sit up and dry my eyes. “It’s okay. You said what you believe. You aren’t wrong. I’ve got walls. I admit it. A good couple feet of them are because of that bastard Rafe and what he did.”

Sadie gives me a sympathetic smile before hugging me. “You know, I was thinking you haven’t felt this bad since all that happened with him. You must really care about Alex March.”

“I do, but how is that possible? We only slept together once, and while I admit he was great in bed, it was only one time. On top of that, we’ve only known each other for like a week. Who falls for someone that fast? Not me, for sure, but here I am all weepy over him for days on end.”

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