Page 15 of Sensuous

She takes a few seconds to answer, which surely means I am a bitch. As I wait for her to say something, a feeling of dread comes over me. God, I am a horrible person just like all my exes said I was. No wonder I’m still single.

“Never mind. Your silence gives me all the answer I need,” I say as I stand up to go to my room.

Tonight seems like a perfect time to pull the covers up over my head and hide from the world.

“No, no! Oh, Kat, stop, please,” my roommate begs as I begin walking away. “It’s not like that.”

The problem is that’s exactly what it’s like. Even my best friend thinks I’m a bitch. Or a shrew. Or whatever other wordsociety uses to describe a woman no one wants to be around because she’s awful.

By the time I get to my bedroom, all I want to do is bury myself under my blankets and cry myself to sleep. When did I get this way? I wasn’t always so difficult to be with, was I? I mean, I wasn’t a three-year-old shrew, was I? That seems unlikely.

While I retrace my life history to find when I became so unhappy, Sadie comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist to give me a hug. Against my back, she says, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t hedging my bets to find a nicer way to say you’re a shrew or a bitch because you aren’t. I was just trying to figure out exactly how to say what I feel.”

I spin around in her hold and stare at her, wondering how she thinks any of this is helping at this moment. “Just spit it out. It’s okay. I’m a bitch, shrew, mean girl, or whatever. It’s the truth, so just say it for all the world to hear.”

She twists her face into a hard grimace. “I think you’re well on your way to wallowing, if you want to know the truth. As for you being any of those delightful things, I don’t think so. Yes, you’re a strong-willed person who stands up for what she thinks is right. Why is that a bad thing?”

I let out a heavy sigh that feels like it’s wanted to come out since I first saw Alex walk into the studio this morning. “It’s not, but I don’t think that’s what the producers meant when they said I’m a natural. That disagreement I got into with one of the contestants was with Alex March.”

Sadie’s eyes light up at the sound of his name. “The guy from Club X the other night?”

Nodding, I sit down hard on the bed, my shoulders sagging from the weight of my unhappiness about today. “The same. I swear to God, Sadie, I don’t know why, but that guy brings out every bad feeling I have inside me. I don’t even know him, and I think I hate him. Sounds pretty shrewy to me.”

“You are not a shrew. You’re just determined and real. That’s all.”

I roll my eyes at her attempt to make me feel better. “Determined and real. Those sound like euphemisms if I’ve ever heard one.”

She sits down next to me and sighs like I just did. “Okay, then here’s the hard truth. You can be difficult at times when you really and truly care about something. You are stubborn and hard-headed, but you have a good heart. I’m not sure what happened today, but don’t let yourself get wrapped up in feeling bad about who you are.”

Her words march through my brain, and for a few moments, I don’t feel so bad anymore. “Thank you. You aren’t mad that I got into it with Alex, are you?”

Nudging me in the arm, Sadie laughs. “You can get into it with anyone you want. I admit he has a vibe to him, but if I’m being one hundred percent honest, I really liked the guy who runs Club X the most. There’s something about him that works for me.”

“You and I both have daddy issues, you know that?”

She elbows me in the side for that comment. “Maybe, but mine are fun and hot. That’s the difference.”

Isn’t that the truth? My daddy issues just make me miserable.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Alex

The bouncerat the front door of Club X waves me past the line of people waiting to get in, a nice benefit of being related to the owner of the establishment, so I walk into the building to find Cade. A decent crowd has turned out to have a good time tonight, which requires me to push my way through to get to the main bar downstairs.

I scan the people in front of me but don’t see him. The gorgeous bartender with the short blond hair and huge rack named Candy or Mandy gives me a smile and reaches out to touch my forearm.

“Hi, Alex. Out to have some fun for a change tonight?” she asks as the music stops for a brief moment.

Damnit, I wish I could remember her name, but for the life of me no matter how many times she’s told me what it is, it never sticks in my brain. I consider just saying whichever one comes out, sure she’ll simply hear it and think it’s right over the music, but just then I feel a hand land on my shoulder.

Turning to see who it is, I get Cade’s face just inches away from my own. “Distracting my people again, Alex? Tandy has work to do,” he says with a grin.

Tandy. Damn. I was close at least.

I give her another smile before following my cousin as he walks toward the stairs up to the second floor of the club. It’ll be quieter up there so we can talk, thankfully. I need him to explain to me what the hell that whole thing with Kat was today because I can’t figure it out.

“Two nights in one week? Dude, you’re going to become a regular here if you don’t watch yourself,” Cade jokes as he walks behind the second-floor bar and I take my place at the end so I can look over the railing to watch the action on the floor below.

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