Page 29 of Sensuous

As I walk over to where Cade is standing with some guy we went to high school with, all I can think of is getting out of this place and back to my condo. He’ll probably be pissed since it’s not every day he gets a night out, but this isn’t working for me tonight.

“Hey, I need to head out.”

I wait for him to give me a hard time or at least ask me why, but he doesn’t do either of those things. He slaps the guy on the back, says goodbye, and then we’re walking toward the door.

By the time we get to the car, I have to ask why he so easily gave up his night out. “Hey, what’s up? I thought you’d at least ask me why I don’t want to stay here. I thought you liked this place.”

Cade smiles and looks over the top of his car at me. “I do. You do too. When you aren’t miserable over some woman, that is. The Dollhouse deserves us to be in top form, and you are nothing close to that tonight, so why stay?”

“I thought you’d be pissed since it’s your rare night out,” I say, hating that I’m such a shitty time tonight.

“Nah. I don’t really miss going out all the time. No offense, but I like hanging out with Hailey.”

“Sounds like love to me,” I say as I open the car door to get in.

He slides in behind the wheel and starts the car. “You know what I think?”

I shake my head. “Are you going to tell me you aren’t in love with Hailey? Because if you do, I’m thinking you’re full of shit. But go ahead. Tell me what you think.”

Cade shakes his head and begins to back out of the parking spot. “Of course, I love her. That’s not what I’m talking about. I think this whole thing with Kat is bothering you because you don’t hate her. You want to, and I get that because from everything you’ve told me she’s a bitch on wheels, but you don’t hate her. In fact, I’m starting to think you’re bothered by the fact that she doesn’t want you.”

“Really, Sigmund? Trying your hand at psychology now? Stick to what you’re good at, Cade, and psychoanalyzing people isn’t it,” I snap.

He puts his foot to the floor and the car takes off down the street as I stare out the passenger side window at the trees on the side of the road as we fly by them. “Have you noticed how touchy you get anytime it comes to this woman? You snap at me, but I think it’s because I’m more right than wrong. So the question is will this Kat be the first woman you can’t have?”

I consider mentioning the fact that I’ve wanted women before who haven’t wanted me, but I don’t need to give Cade any more ammunition tonight. He’s already thinking he can figure out what’s going on with me. He’s wrong, though. The last thing I want in this world is that woman.

What man in his right mind would want a woman who hates him?

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Kat

After half an hourdebating whether or not I should do this as I paced outside in the parking lot, my heart races as I stand in front of Alex’s front door. Sadie was right. I shouldn’t have come here. She tried to stop me, but it was no use. I can’t let this night end without making this right.

At the very least I need to tell him I didn’t know he was standing right behind me because if I did, I wouldn’t have said all those horrible things. I may hate him, but I have manners.

I’ll just have to make sure to look sincere when I apologize.

I lift my hand to knock on the door and take a deep breath in. This will be fine. He’ll accept my apology and then I can go on with my life.

God, I really shouldn’t do this. So what if he heard what I said? It isn’t like he ever thought I liked him. I should really just leave and go home.

“What the hell are you doing here?” a voice sharply asks, and I turn to see Alex walking down the hallway toward me.

So much for him being at home feeling terrible after what I said.

“I…I…I wanted to talk to you.”

He grimaces at my vague explanation and pushes past me to get to his doorknob. Unlocking the door, he turns to look at me with such a look of disgust I practically shrink to nothing right there in the hallway.

“Whatever you have to say to me you can say tomorrow when we’re at the studio. Good night.”

I watch as he slams the door in my face, leaving me standing there in the hallway like some unwanted delivery he hopes someone will take away so he doesn’t have to see it again. So much for wanting to be a nice person.

As I begin my walk of shame toward the elevator a few yards away, a feeling of self-loathing comes over me. I should have listened to Sadie when she told me this was a bad idea. She was worried he’d think I was stalking him. He never got past his hatred of me to get to that point.

I deserve every bit of his disgust. I’ve been nothing but rude to him since that first day, and even though he doesn’t know why I’m like this toward him, I can’t deny the truth any longer.

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