Page 23 of Sensuous

“I know, Alex. You’ve never been anything but a wonderful representative of this restaurant. I’m just disappointed that you didn’t find it enjoyable.”

“It’s okay, Dad. I enjoy my life just fine.”

Still, that look of disappointment doesn’t leave him, and as we sit there silently, all I can think is I’ve rarely seen him like this with me before. Cash as the older child got the unhappy look far more than I ever have, and now that I’m experiencing it, I don’t like it at all.

“So will you be coming back to work immediately?” my father asks, still in that disapproving tone he’s used since I told him I left the show.

“Yeah. Have Kane put me on the schedule for tomorrow.”

“Okay. Will do.”

The utter lack of joy in his voice hits me squarely in the chest. Christ, this must be what Cade always says it feels like dealing with Stefan. My father’s disappointment in me is the last thing I need today.

“I’m going to head out, Dad. I’ll see you later, okay?” I say as I stand up to escape this feeling that I’ve let my father down.

He gives me a smile, but it’s forced. “Okay, son.”

Fuck. This day needs to end.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Alex

Twenty minutes later,I’m laid out on my couch in my living room mindlessly searching through channels to watch something so I can get my thoughts off how miserable my father looked when I told him I left that damn reality show. Why the hell was he so thrilled about me being on that anyway? I should have told him the whole fucking thing was a drama-filled bunch of bullshit that didn’t even involve cooking.

Someone knocking at my door rouses me from my thoughts, and as I walk over to see who it is, a horrible idea occurs to me. Did my father call my mother and tell her what happened? The last thing I want to do at this moment is talk to Olivia March about how I failed at a ridiculous reality show.

Before I can answer it, the door flies open and Cade walks through, nearly running straight into me. Full of smiles, he holds up a six pack of beer and announces, “I hear someone in this apartment is looking for a good time!”

“You know I’m always looking for a good time, but right now, I’m looking for something else,” I say as he pushes past me to walk into the living room.

“What else is there?” Cade asks in that way he has of making everything about fun.

I collapse back onto the couch and confess what happened today. “I left the reality show. When I told my father, he looked like I’d just said I failed at everything I tried in life and I’m going to have to come back home to live with him and my mother.”

Cade twists the cap off a beer and leans over from his chair to hand it to me. “Now you know how every day of my life has felt. Welcome to the party. Nothing like the look of utter disappointment on your father’s face to make you feel like an abject fucking failure.”

I wrap my fingers around the ice-cold beer bottle and let those words sink into me. An abject fucking failure. Fucking great.

As I down my first few gulps of alcohol, Cade asks, “So what happened? Someone make your pesto sauce go sour? Can that happen? I don’t know, but whatever it is, you look like someone shit in your cereal this morning.”

“Nice visual. Thanks. What happened is they called me in today to talk about my story, and the whole thing with that other contestant and the conflict they were practically drooling over yesterday wasn’t enough. Now they wanted me to fall for her while she’s supposed to be with some guy named Marco, who by the way looked like he was all in on their pretend romance, but she’d rather kiss a lizard. I don’t have any interest in any of that shit. I agreed to do that show because it had to do with cooking, but other than that one dish they had us make in the beginning, we never even turned on the goddamned burners or made a single thing.”

When I finish, Cade shakes his head. “I’m confused. They wanted you and that girl to fight, but then you were supposed to be into her while she and some guy are already together? Were they looking for you two to get into a fight over her or something?”

The way he talks about all of the bullshit they wanted to happen makes it all the more clear that I was right to bail on that stupid show. Taking a drink of beer, I swallow it hard and say, “They aren’t really together. At least I don’t think they are since I don’t think they spoke a word to each other before today. It’s all pretend bullshit anyway, so I didn’t want any part of it. I told them so and left.”

I don’t mention to Cade about the fact that the producers only wanted me on the show as eye candy. My best friend would never let me live that down if he found out. For the rest of my life, he’d bring it up whenever he could to torture me.

“So your time on TV is over. Oh, well. What do you plan to do now?”

I raise my bottle in the air and toast the only thing I’ve ever loved. “Same as always. I’m going to go back to my kitchen at CK and be happy as Alex, the head chef at the best restaurant in town.”

Cade holds his bottle in the air but doesn’t join in with my toast to work as the only salvation. “I think this obsession with your job is unhealthy, so I say we go out and celebrate your freedom from the drama llamas on that show.”

“Going out doesn’t sound like anything I want to do. I think we should stay here and finish this six pack before you have to leave to meet up with Hailey.”

I know how this goes since he met the woman of his dreams. He’ll stick around until she’s done with work, and then he’ll go with her. I don’t begrudge him his happiness, even as I miss the two of us going out on the town every night in the old days.

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