Page 47 of Broken Grump

“Is that okay, Mom?”

I look to Claire.

“Don’t worry. They’ll be fine,” she assures me. “There are plenty of older kids too. They watch out for the little ones.”

“Well, okay.” I’m seated, and I bend over to hold my daughter’s arms. “Just be careful, okay?”

“I will.”

With that, they run off.

When Claire sits next to me, I ask, “That one has to be yours, right?”

She smiles. “Oh, yeah. Arabella. She’s my sixth.”

Ow!My vagina hurts for her.

“Sixth out of how many?”

“Eight.” She beams with pride.

Ow, ow, ow!I can’t imagine that. My hoo-ha felt like it was on fire after only one.

“And obviously, little Luna is yours. Yours and . . .” I follow her eyes as they glance over at Hayden, who is, of course, entertaining the other men with one of his wild stories. He’s taken his suit jacket off, and he’s rolled the sleeves of his salmonshirt up, revealing the muscles in his forearms. After he gestures his hands around about something, the rest of the crowd abrupt into laughter.

I know what she’s asking, and I take a deep breath in and out while trying to remember every little detail Hayden and I went over.

Then, I hang my head and try to look ashamed. “Um.” I look around and make sure that only she can hear me. “We got pregnant before wedlock,” I confess.

“Oh!” Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t outright shun me or anything.

“It’s something Hayden and I are both repenting for . . . Well, perhaps me, so even more than him. You see, I ran off once I saw those double lines on the pregnancy test. So, I didn’t even give him the chance to do the right thing.” My throat feels hot and congested as I get all of that out.

Claire just nods.

I tuck my hair behind my ear and say, “I hope you don’t judge me too much for all of that.”

“Oh, Addie.” She rests a hand on my arm. “That isn’t my job. Whatever happens in your life is between you and God. And as long as you ask for forgiveness and learn from your mistakes, you’re doing exactly what the good Lord instructed us to do in the Bible.”

“Right.” I’m trying to sound confident and like I knew that all along.

“But, if you don’t mind me asking, how did the two of you come back together?”

“Oh!” We rehearsed this too. “It was an engagement party of mutual friends.”

From one mother to the next, I, then, see her pull out a stick of string cheese from her purse, which I assume she meant to save for one of her kids. And she slowly peels little chunks off of it.

“That’s romantic,” she says with her mouth full.

I smile. “Yeah, it was. Romantic and very unexpected.”

Together, we glare over at him again, and I feel a little gurgle in my belly as he seems to tell a hilarious joke.

Dammit,Addie.I mean, dang it.Even swearing inside my own head makes me feel guilty among this crowd.

“But you two are making it work?” Claire asks.

“Oh, yeah. Slowly, but surely. We’re trying to find our way as a family.”

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