Page 68 of Broken Grump

“You know, for when you ultimately sign the paperwork.”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know they’re a mistake.

The fun spirit that was once in the air is quickly replaced with tension, and I feel tiny knives digging into my chest as his face bunches up into a sneer.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

With a scoff, he says, “Well, I’m not quite sure why you’d make such a leap when I’ve never once insinuated that I have any intention of signing the land over to you.”

More knives. So many more knives.

I have to push my hand against my pectoral muscles to relieve some of the pressure.

I’m also wracking my brain to think of anything to make things better.

“Oh, don’t mind him,” Addie swoops in for me. “He wasn’t raised in the church like you and me. Randy—May I call you Randy?”

The slightest sign of a smile blooms just above his chin. “I suppose you can.”

“Ah, great. As I was saying, people like Hayden over here are new to the whole religion thing. He isn’t quite used to trusting the great man upstairs’ plans.”

He looks back at me with disdain, but when he grins over at her, I think this bizarre plan might actually be working.

“That’s understandable, I suppose. I’ve encountered other reborn believers who have struggled with relinquishing their power over to our Almighty God.”

“Exactly. That’s exactly what I think Hayden’s problem is. But please be patient. He’ll get there.”

“Well, okay then.” Before leaving, he promises that he’ll take everything we’ve presented to him today under advisement and get back to us with a definitive answer soon.

I’m frozen in awe as I watch him walk away. But after he piles into his station wagon and pulls off, I resist falling at my feet and bowing before her.

“How in the hell did you just pull that off?”

She keeps the façade going by kissing her fingers and pointing them at the sky. “What can I say? The great G-O-D has got my back.”

“I guess he does.” Although, that statement made me a little salty towards a giant man I’m not even sure I believe in.

I told you that I’m the one who has your back . . .

“Oh, shoot!” As we’re walking back to our cars, she practically drops the supplies that she’s carrying as she reaches for her buzzing phone.

“Here, let me.” Except my mother taught me never to rifle through a woman’s purse without her permission. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Yes, please. Just don’t be alarmed when you feel for my pistol and dead husband’s ashes,” she jokes.

“Addie.”

“I said, yes. It’s fine. Root away. There’s nothing in there but my wallet and old gum wrappers anyway.”

With that in mind, I try to dodge anything sticky, and I finally find her cellphone.

“Here.”

“Thanks. Oh, shit.” She doesn’t answer it or anything, so I assume it’s another alarm. “We’re done here, right?”

“Yeah, thanks to you.”

“Great. I’ve gotta go pick up Luna.”