Page 43 of Broken Grump

He smiles. “Thank you. I just let the Lord’s word pour through me. But I’m sure you know what that’s like.”

When I fail to answer, she discreetly kicks me under the table.

“Ah, right! Yes. Of course.”

After that, I watch as they tear into their meat, while I fork around at the fruits and veggies on my plate.

I wasn’t being honest about the big breakfast, but I’m actually not very hungry. I assume it’s because of all the weight that rests on this sale.

“So, about this land,” Addie starts.

“Right. Of course. If I understand correctly, Errol says you two want to build some fancy hotel on it. Is that right?”

“A fancy hotel honoring my Catholic grandfather’s heritage,” Addie adds.

Randall’s eyebrows raise. “Oooh, I didn’t hear that part. Is there a way in which you hope to incorporate the religious aspect?”

“Well . . .”

She looks over at me in a panic, but I’ve got nothing. I probably should’ve thought about this in advance. However, the plans are already so tight and carefully calculated.

“There’s going to be a chapel,” she finally blurts out.

Now, I want to deliver a punt to one of her shins.

Randall sits back in amusement. “Is that right?”

“Yeah,” I echo. “Is it?”

“Oh, yeah. Abuelo was adamant about that. Don’t get me wrong, it won’t be anything fancy. Just an altar with a few rows of pews for guests to come if they want to pray or otherwise just seek solace under God’s watchful eye.”

He gestures with the fork in his hand. “I can’t say I’ve ever heard of a hotel having such an amenity in it before.”

Addie shrugs. “What can I say? We’re revolutionary.” Then, she gasps. “Just like Jesus.”

All three of us laugh, but one of us seems genuine while she and I are forcing it.

Suddenly, Randall’s phone rings, and he rests his hand where I assume it is in his pocket.

“Oh, shoot,” he says after picking it up and reading the name across the screen. “I have to take this. Do you mind?”

I look at Addie, as I assume that’s what a gentleman and good husband do, and she answers that it’s fine.

With her approval, I also condone it.

“Business, you know?” Randall murmurs before picking it up.

I watch as he walks out, and once he’s out of earshot, my head swivels back in my fake wife’s direction.

“A chapel?!”

“I’m sorry! I panicked. What was I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know. But not that.” My elbows are now on the table, and my pointer finger is resting against my mouth.

“We can always reduce the size of the pool and include a little room in the corner there.”

“Wha—” I want to rebuke her suggestion, but after thinking about it for a second, I think that actually might work.

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