Page 35 of Broken Grump

“Nevertheless, you can ‘talk the talk,’ and ‘walk the walk,’ if you had to?”

Her lips purse and her nostrils flare. “I don’t know! I guess.”

Perfect.That’s all I needed to hear.

“Oh, no. I don’t like that look in your eye,” she cautions.

“What?” Steven isn’t as familiar with my manylooks.

She points at me with the other hand resting on her hip. “He has an evil plan. I just know it.”

“Do you?”

“I—I wouldn’t call itevil,per se. Just deceptive.”

“Aha!” Addie claps her hands together. “I knew it. I knew it!”

“Well? What is it?” Steven asks before his eyes widen. “On second thought, if it isn’t ethical, I probably shouldn’t be apprised of it.” After that, he turns his back to us, shoves his hairy fingers into his ears, and hums to mask our words.

I chuckle a little before approaching him and pulling his arms at his sides.

“Relax, we aren’t going to scam or fraud anyone out of money. All I’m proposing is that we act like a couple.”

At that, Addie’s blue eyes get big, and her pupils dart between Steven and me. “You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s your plan? To win some Jesus freak over by pretending to be a same-sex couple?”

The mere suggestion of playing Steven’s sugar baby makes me want to step on his loafers.

“Please tell me that’s not the plan,” he begs.

Oh, please. It’d be your pleasure.

Once the teasing silences in my head, however, I finally come clean. “No, not necessarily.” My head dips for a second, I line my lower lip with my finger and thumb, and then I glare back up at Addie.

Her face remains neutral until she seems to get what I’m insinuating.

“Oh, God. No.”

“Well, we’ll have to practice not using the Lord’s name in vain if this is going to work, but yes.”

She shakes her head and crosses her arms across her chest.

“Absolutely not. That’s ludicrous. Absolutely not!”

“Addie—”

“No!” She continues to back away. “Besides, it’ll never work, Hayden.”

The corner of my mouth curls down. “You sure about that?”

“Completely.”

“Come on. It won’t be that hard. We just have to go in there a few times, act like we’re the kind of couple that fell in love at first sight in middle school or whatever and never kissed another soul until our wedding day.”

A chortle releases from her throat. “Oh, yeah. Because that will be such an easy sell for a manwhore like yourself.”

“Hey!” I pick at my suit. “That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it?” she presses.

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