Addie
My flight is booked,my bags are packed, and all I have left to do is wait. Well, wait and continue caring for my child, of course.
I know I have to tell her about moving back to Arizona, but I’m dreading it like the plague. It was bad enough when I ripped herawayfrom there. But she’s adapted quite well and made friends here in L.A., so going back will probably be even worse.
Ugh.In a lot of ways, I feel like a failure as a mother.
It doesn’t help things that smoke is billowing from the pan on the stove before me.
“Shit!” I exclaim before discarding the ruined batter into the trash, throwing the dirty dishes into the sink, and starting fresh.
Soon, my chaotic mind is distracted by my ringing phone.
Of course, it’s Hayden. Again.He’s called about a dozen times and left even more texts. But I don’t have anything to say to him. So, it’s all for naught.
Ignoring another attempt to contact me, I read the back of the pancake mix again, pull out another big bowl and spoon, and mix the ingredients.
No matter what he says, I’m done believing his lies.I repeat in my mind over and over again.
Snap!I suddenly hear and feel as the utensil in my hand suddenly feels lighter.
“Dammit!” There are shards of wood in this batter, so I throw it away too.Can’t you do anything right?
I feel on the cusp of tears as I lean back against the counter and clutch the cool tiles for dear life.
“Mommy!” Luna’s little face suddenly appears. “Is breakfast almost ready?”
Her voice snaps me out of my state, and I’m left to scan the kitchen and see all the evidence of my failure.
“No. Not yet, baby,” I answer, blotting under my eyes.
She tilts her head. “What’s wrong, Mom?”
I sniffle. “Nothing. I just had an accident. That’s all. No harm, no foul.”
I can tell by her narrowed eyes and pursed lips that she doesn’t necessarily believe me. But she drops everything, nonetheless.
“Actually,” I say when the idea of starting all over again exhausts me, “why don’t we go out for breakfast? Oh, I know! We can go to Millie’s.”
Her face brightens. “Okay!”
With relief, I say, “Great.”
She retreats into the hallway before emerging again in a hoodie and her favorite sneakers. But then she says something that completely devastates me, “Can we invite Hayden? He likes Millie’s too. He told me.”
My heart drops down to my kneecaps, and there’s a wrenching feeling in my stomach. “No, sweetie.”
Her lips pout as she looks at the ground. “Oh. Why not?”
“Um.” I scratch my head as I think. “Uh . . . He’s working.”
“I thought you said the two of you work together?”
Dang her and her perfect memory!
“We do. I mean, sometimes. Not all the time. He has his business, and I—”
“You’re taking over Abuelo’s.”