Page 14 of Speed Trap

I placed my coffee on my bedside table and flicked my fingers in her direction. “Give me a list. I’ll go shopping on the way home from work.” That simple sentence triggered me. Oh, my God. I get to drive my own car again.”

Honey smiled. “Small things, huh?”

“After sleeping in a crew trailer next to Benson’s on my own for the past four weeks with next to no privacy and being surrounded by an overabundance of testosterone…yes. My own bed and my own car absolutely count as luxuries.”

“I’m surprised he doesn’t spring for a hotel room for you.”

I choked on my coffee. “Benson spring for a hotel room? For me? You’ve got to be kidding.” I swiped at the tears that ran down my cheeks with the back of my hand. “The only time Benson would do that would be if he intended to have a little fuckfest of his own.”

“Sunny!” My sister looked at me reprovingly.

“What?” I shrugged, knowing my language had picked up in the last months. “It comes from living with so many men for most of the year.”

“Maybe try to keep some class, then.” Honey scrunched her nose as she stood and stretched. “I’m going for a walk. Will I see you in the soup kitchen later on?”

“Probably,” I yawned and grabbed my coffee again. “It’s good to be home for a bit. Leave me a list of what you need. For here or work or whatever.”

Honey nodded, sweeping her hand over her hair. She kept hers dark, to suit our heritage, while I dyed mine to fit the image for my career better.

“It’s good to have you home, Sunny. Even if it’s only for a moment.” She gave me a soft smile as she headed downstairs. A moment later a door banged as she left the apartment.

Guilt swept over me in a broad wave that tightened my stomach. Maybe I should have stayed home, kept her company? Had she been lonely without me?

Of course she is.I left her alone to chase after my own ego.

My career

My mother should be cursing me from her grave for not putting family first. Instant karma sank in as my inner snark woke. Without its dose of apparently expected sex for the morning it came out swinging haymakers.

Despite pushing aside my guilt, the pressure to give it all up gnawed at me. I downed the rest of my coffee and contemplated going for a run. But the simple lure of driving my own car,listening to musicI chose—while singing badly—won out. I clambered out of my bed, leaving Hawk’s empty presence alone between my sheets.

Freedom was a heady thing. Over the next week I left my Team Benson emails unchecked and unanswered. I didn’t wear leather, and I sang horrifically to not so new country rock all the way downtown each morning to the silent teachings of Maestro Steering Wheel.

Driving my own car might be a simple pleasure but it was one I reveled in. Pristine tan leather seats complimented the dark blue paintwork, and everything worked exactly the way it should, the way it had been left to me.

Traffic banked up around me as I headed through the city. I didn’t care in the least. By the time I turned into the office block where I rented a room for part of the year and fielded my own PR business my head had cleared of racetrack chatter and my brain started to churn out what I needed to organize for my clients.

“Sunny!” Janie greeted me from the building’s foyer. The petite woman ran around the desk to embrace me. “It’s been months! Sal cleared out an office for you last week, and we’ve all been so excited that you’re back! Plus, we need goss on all your hot boys.” Without waiting on an answer she led me down a corridor off the foyer and into a ground level office that looked out over a park.

I kept my lips pressed together, glad I wasn’t required to spill said goss on the spot as I took in the simple office space.

Simple, but mine.

Sunlight slanted across a single desk with a few chairs stacked against the wall opposite. I spied the coffee machineI had brought in during the last off season in the small kitchenette.

“Sorry I couldn’t get you into a higher floor,” she apologized.

“It’s great. Honestly. I’ll have my head in this.” I waved my laptop at her. “And over there.” I pointed back out the door to the coffee machine.

“It’s had ample use,” Janie assured me. “I clean it out regularly and found some great beans at a little place around the corner. They’re all labeled so you can choose from a few different roasts.”

“See, that’s why you're my favorite.” I gave Janie a one-armed hug. “Don’t stress if you don’t hear from me for a bit. I’ll be in my happy place.”

Janie grinned and left me to set up for the day.

A few hours later the sun had shifted off my desk. My stomach rumbled and my head ached. I reached for my water bottle. Empty plastic crinkled in my hand. I paused the promotional video I’d created and played back a dozen times to tweak. Pushing my chair back, I stretched tight muscles and massaged my butt. My body wasn’t used to sitting for hours at a stretch anymore.

I lapped the room once to regain some semblance of circulation and leaned out my door.

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