Page 71 of Second Chance with Seth

“Let me help,” he says and I pause, knowing he means well. He’s not criticizing me for being unable to cope. He just wants to be involved.

“Can you fetch a bottle for me?” I ask. “That way, I can go straight up to her.”

“Sure. Do you need it the same size and temperature as the one you made last night?”

“Yes, if that’s okay?”

He nods his head, and as River’s cries get a little louder, he throws back the covers and gets out of bed. He’s hard, and I can’t help glancing at him in all his magnificence.

“Sorry,” he whispers. “You have that effect on me… just like you always did.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Although you should probably put something on.”

“Why? You think River’s gonna be aware of my erection, or the reason for it?”

“No, but…”

He nods his head. “If it makes you more comfortable…” he says, glancing over toward the door, where his robe is still hanging from a hook. “You didn’t throw this away then?” he says, striding over and pulling it on, wrapping it around himself.

“No.”

He smiles, pulling it up slightly. “It smells of you.”

“That’s because I wore it during my pregnancy.”

“Because it was the only thing that fitted?” he asks, smiling slightly.

“Yes, and because it made me feel closer to you.”

His smile fades and he comes back to me, just as I’m pulling on my sleep shirt, which I left folded on the wooden box at the end of the bed. I’ve got several of them, all the same, and they’re basically like oversized t-shirts. This one is wine colored, andI’ve taken to sleeping in them, although for obvious reasons, I didn’t last night. I drag it over my head just as he pulls me to my feet.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he says.

“So am I. But you’re here now, and I need to get up the stairs before our daughter thinks we’re ignoring her.”

“I don’t think she’d let us do that,” he says, smiling, and he steps aside, so I can put my sleep shirt on properly, raising his eyebrows as he looks me up and down, and then nods his head. “Very sexy,” he murmurs, raising it slightly so he can pat my ass. “Hmm… I like this,” he says, moving closer.

“Can you like it later?” I say, holding him off with a hand on his chest. “We can’t do this now.”

“Okay.” He steps away again, and I head straight for the door.

“Shall I bring the bottle up?” he asks.

“Yes, please,” I call over my shoulder, although I keep my voice down, and rush up to open the door, the nightlight giving enough illumination that I can see River, lying in her cot, thrashing around in her sleep sack. She’s clearly disgruntled, and I go over and lift her into my arms, although I don’t say a word to her, and just place her down on the changing mat at the end of her bed. She’s annoyed at being kept waiting for her milk, but I’ve found it’s better to change her first, regardless of her impatience, and I make quick work of it, zipping her back into her sleep sack just as Seth comes into the room, holding the bottle in his hand.

“Here you…” he says, although he stops talking when I hold my finger to my lips and shake my head. There’s a frown on his face, but he doesn’t say a word and just offers the bottle, which I take, settling in the chair and giving River what she wants at last. She gazes up at me, suckling hard, and I take a moment to glance at Seth, giving him a smile so he knows I’m not mad athim. He smiles back, leaning against the wall by the door, and watches us, his head tipped to one side.

River drinks down all her milk and I sit her up, rubbing her back until she burps a couple of times, and then I rock her a little, sitting in silence. It sounds odd, but I enjoy this time with her, even if it is the middle of the night… although I know I have to put her back in her cot and I get to my feet, lying her down. She grizzles a little, but soon settles, and I wander to Seth, grabbing his hand, and pull him from the room.

I leave the bottle at the bottom of the stairs like I always do, knowing I can deal with it in the morning, and then I lead Seth back into the bedroom.

“Sorry about that,” I whisper as he closes the door.

“That’s okay.”

“It’s just that I’ve found if I keep it dark and quiet, River’s less inclined to think it’s morning, and time to play, and the sooner we can get back to sleep.”

He smiles. “I kinda worked that out, although I noticed how much you enjoyed sitting with her.”

---