Page 64 of Second Chance with Seth

I pull back, and she sucks in a lungful of air, licking her swollen lips and biting on her bottom one, wide-eyed and so fucking sexy.

“Can I ask you something?” she says, surprising me with how normal she sounds, when my brain is all over the place, and my body is struggling to catch up.

“Sure.”

She hesitates for a moment, swallowing hard, and then says, “Why didn’t you come back? The last time I asked, you said it was because you felt ashamed of what you’d done, and I assumed that had something to do with Helen.”

“It had nothing to do with her.”

“Maybe not, but…”

“It was because I’d hurt you. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, or ever will love, and I’d left you. What’s more, I’dleft you, knowing there was a chance you could be pregnant. I think I had plenty to feel ashamed about.”

“Then why didn’t you call me?”

“I guess I was scared that it might sound as though I was only checking up on you to find out if you were pregnant. I know I could have called and just asked about you, but we’d been pretty good at misunderstanding each other, and I wasn’t sure it would come out like that.”

She nods her head. “Was that it?”

“No. If I’m being honest, I wanted you to need me as much as I needed you.”

“I did.”

“It hadn’t felt that way for a long time, babe.”

“I—I’m sorry,” she says, her voice faltering.

“Hey… I’m the one who’s sorry. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… this is all on me, babe.”

She shakes her head, but I hold it still, looking into her eyes. “I—I needed you so much,” she says. “I wish I’d been able to tell you, but I needed you. You must have realized… even if only on the night before you left… surely?”

I smile at her. “Of course I did. That’s not a night I’m ever likely to forget.”

“Neither am I,” she says, returning my smile.

“It was the only time I ever made love to you without a condom.”

“Hmm… I know.”

I bring my hand up, tracing a line around her lips with my fingertip, which makes her shudder, I’m pleased to say. It always used to, and I’m glad that hasn’t changed.

“It had been ages since we’d done anything,” I murmur.

“That was my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Yes, it was. I was too preoccupied with everything else.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t make it your fault, and in any case, it doesn’t matter how it happened… all that matters is that I was desperate for you. I still am, in case you haven’t noticed.” I flex my hips in to her and she sucks in a sharp breath, letting it out as a low moan, which makes me smile.

“I was desperate for you, too,” she whispers. “Just because I was preoccupied didn’t mean I’d switched off my feelings.”

“I know. The evidence of that is upstairs. Speaking of which… I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful with you. I wanted to talk to you about it… afterwards, you know? But you fell asleep before I could, and the next day… well, we both know what happened the next day.” My mistake over the condom had been one of the things I’d wanted to discuss with Everly the next evening, but it all fell apart when she mentioned Helen… and my life went with it.

She pulls back, a look of fear crossing her face. “Do you regret it? River, I mean. Not what happened afterwards.”

“Do you?” I ask, needing to know the depth of my carelessness, and what it’s meant for her… what I’ve done to her.

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