Page 56 of Second Chance with Seth

“Amen to that,” Sandra says under her breath, although I heard every word and I glance over at her as she comes across, giving Seth a smile before she holds out her arms, handing River to me. “You don’t have to ask for help, sweetheart. You just have to accept it,” she says, caressing River’s head and smiling down at her, even though her words are addressed to me.

“Th—Thank you.”

“Shall we go upstairs?” Seth says, maybe sensing how embarrassed I am, and I nod my head. “I just need to get River’s diaper bag and my purse.”

He’s still got one arm around me and keeps it there as I turn, nodding toward the alcove, where my purse is hanging from a hook. River’s diaper bag is on the floor underneath the crib, and he grabs them both without letting me go, and guides me toward the swing door. Owen moves aside, giving us both a smile, and we head out into the coffee shop. I keep my eyes focused on River, and let Seth steer me to the door, which he opens, helping me out onto the sidewalk.

“Was I shutting them out too?” I ask, looking up at him, even though he’s blurring around the edges.

He pauses for a moment, like he’s thinking of the best way to reply, and I brace myself.

“I don’t know I’d go that far,” he says. “But I think you need to accept that you’re not on your own. Not here. You never have been, even if it might have felt like it sometimes. There havealways been people who’ve cared about you. You just have to let them.”

“You mean I have to trust them?”

“I guess.”

“Like I have to trust you?”

He frowns. “You don’t have to do anything with me. Not if you don’t want to.”

I shake my head. “But that’s the whole point, Seth. I want to. I really do. It’s just that trusting you was an instinct before, and now it’s something I have to think about, and…”

“Stop it,” he says, moving closer and glancing down at River, before he returns his gaze to me. “Stop thinking so hard about every damn thing. It will be an instinct again, I promise. You just have to let me in.”

“Is it really that easy?”

“If you want it to be… yeah, I think it is.” I let out a sigh, and he smiles, like he knows how hard this is for me, and has decided not to push it. “Shall we go upstairs?” he says.

I nod my head. “I just need to get my key. It’s in my purse.” I hold out my hand for it, trying to shift River slightly, but he reaches into his pocket.

“I—I’ve still got mine,” he says, looking a little sheepish, and I can’t help the half-laugh that escapes my lips.

“I didn’t realize.”

“I did. I knew all along, and you have no idea how many times I thought about coming back here and using it.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I’d hurt you. I knew I didn’t have the right to just let myself back in.”

I wonder if he’s talking about the apartment, or my life, and as he stares down at me, holding the key in his hand, I realize they’re the same thing. At least, that’s how it feels. This seems like a symbolic moment… one that could go either way, anddespite my doubts, I already know how I want this to end, and I nod toward the door.

“Do you wanna open it?” I say.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“So you can slam it in my face?” he asks, sounding about as insecure as I’ve ever heard him, which I guess means he’s realized the enormity of this moment, too.

“No. So we can go upstairs.”

What we’ll do when we get there is anyone’s guess, but this feels like a start, and he smiles, leaning in and kissing my forehead, before he turns and opens the door.

“After you,” he says, stepping aside, and I go up the stairs ahead of him. It’s a little dark up here, so I switch on the lights, wishing I’d had time to tidy up.

“Sorry the place is such a mess,” I say, turning to face him. He’s looking around, taking it all in, although I don’t think much has changed since he left. Not out here, anyway.

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