Page 43 of Second Chance with Seth

Chapter Nine

Everly

“Why does he always do this to me?” I wail, wiping my eyes with the tissue Sandra’s just handed me.

“Do what?” she says, giving me a piercing look… one that gets right inside me.

“Make me feel inadequate.”

“Did he do that, or did you? What did he actually say?”

I glance up at Lyla, who’s fixing some pancakes while listening to our conversation.

“He asked where River was, and what I do with her while I’m working.”

“Okay,” Sandra says, giving me an encouraging nod of her head.

“I explained about the setup, and then he offered to help.” I remember his words, and how he hesitated, unsure of what might need doing, or what might be most useful. With hindsight, I ought to have noticed that, and made suggestions, rather than jumping down his throat like I did.

“What did you say?” Sandra asks, and I pause, wishing I’d behaved differently now.

“I told him he couldn’t come back here and act like a father.” She frowns, and Lyla puts down the spoon she’s holding, turning to face me. “I know,” I say, holding up my hand. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Why did you?” Lyla asks.

“Because it felt like he was questioning me over the way I care for River.”

“Was he?” Sandra says.

“He was asking questions.”

“That’s not quite the same thing, though, is it?”

“Maybe not, but it doesn’t excuse what he said next.”

“Which was?”

“He told me he wasn’t acting, and that he could have been a real father before now, if I’d told him about River.”

Sandra pulls a face… one with a pained expression on it, and Lyla shakes her head, picking up the spoon again to get on with her work.

“Hmm… I can see why that would upset you,” Sandra says.

“Even though it’s true?” I surprise myself, and she stares at me, showing she feels the same way.

“Is it?”

“Yes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he was blameless. He left me, and if he hadn’t done that, I’d never have been in that situation in the first place…”

“But?” she says, prompting me.

“But I could have called him. I should have called him, and if I had, he could have been here, and we could have been a family.”

My voice cracks and yet more tears fall down my cheeks.

“Is that what’s bothering you the most?” Sandra asks, putting her arm around me. “Is it the fact that you’ve missed out on so much, and now he’s back, you’re being reminded of what might have been?”

“I don’t know. I think I’m too mad at him to work it out.”

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