Page 86 of Second Chance with Seth

“And that’s a problem?”

I heard him sigh. “No, but there are things I need to do here.”

I felt my skin prickle, wondering what was going on. “Promise me there’s no-one else,” I said, and although I hated myself for being so suspicious, I had my reasons… not that I was about to tell him.

“There’s no-one else, I promise.” He sounded sincere, and I did my best to believe him. “Please trust me,” he said.

“I trusted you before.”

“I know you did, and I broke that trust, but this is different, babe. I’ll prove it to you. Just give me time.”

“The thing is, you can’t tell me how much time, can you?”

“Not exactly, but it won’t be long.”

I still couldn’t understand why he had to stay in Concord in order to fix whatever needed fixing. He used to live here and commute there every single day, so why couldn’t he do that now? I knew how much he loved his job, but he said he loved me, too, so what was keeping him there?

Despite his promises, my imagination’s been working overtime on that during the last few days, and I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve asked him for reassurance. He’s given it, over and over, reminding me he loves me, that he’d never do anything to hurt me again, and he couldn’t bear to lose me. That ought to be enough… but it’s not. Because I miss him.

It seems worse in the mornings, somehow. I miss waking up beside him, having someone to talk to, and to share things with, and I’ll admit, having him here made my morning routine so much easier.

Not that I have much of a routine anymore. River’s blown that to pieces. She’s taken to waking up at six-fifteen. Naturally, I’ve been using my alarm clock, rather than relying on her to wake me, and have been showering before she’s even surfaced, but I haven’t once made it downstairs in time to open the coffeeshop. I’ve had to rely on Owen, and I hate doing that. It’s my job, and I’m failing… dismally.

It would be so much easier if Seth were here. He could look after River while I went down and opened up the shop. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, and my life would be a lot less stressful.

Except he’s not here, is he?

As for the rest of my day… well, I know Seth wouldn’t be here to help with that, or with River’s newfound wakefulness, because he’d be at work, but at least I wouldn’t have to feel so guilty about getting everyone else to step up if I’d at least been firing on all cylinders first thing in the morning. As it is, I feel like I’m an onlooker in my own business, standing by and watching as those around me get on with doing the actual work, while I try to understand what’s going on with my daughter, who doesn’t seem to want to sleep during the day so much anymore.

Can it be that she’s missing Seth, too?

It seems unlikely. After all, she only met him last Monday, and the very next day, he disappeared again.

That hardly gave her time to get used to having him around, did it?

Unlike me…

I found that so easy, which is why not having him here is so hard.

Although I think it might be easier, if he’d tell me what’s going on… or better still, when he’ll be back.

And now I really wish I’d been able to tell him I wanted him to move in with me again. Owen might have suggested getting Seth to bring his things back from the hotel, but I wanted to go further than that. I wanted him to move his life back here from Concord… to make it like it was before, so we could sleep together every night, and wake up together every morning.

And instead of that, he left, and I’ve spent every night staring at the ceiling, regretting that I didn’t speak out… regretting that I didn’t say something to make him stay, to make him realize how much I want him. ‘I love you’ would have done it. But I couldn’t bring myself to say that, and now I’m alone again, and despite Seth’s calls, I can’t help wondering what on earth is going on.

I suppose my mood hasn’t been helped by the fact that I’ve seen Helen Rogers around the town a few times. That feels unfair, considering the last time Seth left, I could sometimes go for days or even weeks without catching a glimpse of the woman. And yet it feels like she’s haunting me.

The first time was on Tuesday afternoon, just a few hours after Seth had gone back to Concord. It must have been at the end of the school day, and Main Street was busy. I glanced up and saw her walking down the other side of the street, looking like she didn’t have a care in the world. That felt odd, bearing in mind the conversation she’d had with Seth that morning, but she was gone before I had the chance to make anything of it.

When I saw her again on Thursday morning, she was walking along talking on her phone, smiling and laughing, and the moment I saw her, a shiver of fear ran up my spine. Without thinking, I pulled out my phone and connected a call to Seth. He answered straight away.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes… I just… I just wanted to hear your voice.”And check you weren’t busy talking to Helen Rogers.

“Has something happened?”

“No.”

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