Through the window, I spotted them outside, walking around the campsite and straightening up. I walked down the steps and squinted in the early-morning sunshine. “Morning.”
“Morning, Dad,” Teddy called over his shoulder with a yawn.
Some unknown emotion flashed across Hazel’s face as her attention moved from Teddy to me. She didn’t say good morning, and despite the urge to walk over to her and greet her with a kiss, I stuffed my hands into my pockets.
Something was on her mind. I could tell in the way she avoided eye contact and focused every ounce of her attention on Teddy as he bounced around the campsite.
We had definitely crossed a line last night.
Again.
Still, I couldn’t find it within me to regret it.
“Can we swim in the lake this morning?” Teddy asked. “Please?”
Hazel’s mouth opened and shut as she looked at me. “Uh ...”
“Sorry, man.” I could be the bad guy if she needed me to be. “I have to get back to work. Vacation is over for me.”
His face fell and I felt like a total asshole. “Oh, okay.” Glumly he kicked a rock and walked past me toward the skoolie, his shoulders sagging with disappointment.
“Don’t take it personally,” Hazel said, but she still wouldn’t look at me. “I think he’s testing outguilt tripsas a new manipulation tactic.”
I leaned back on my heels. “Got it. I won’t.” I studied her as she folded up a camping chair and stuffed it in the storage locker under the bus. “I’m kind of taking the cold shoulder from you personally, though.”
Her attention moved to me and her features softened. Her delicate hands covered her face. “I’m sorry.” She gestured between us. “I’m just ... last night was ... you’re just so ...”
I raised an eyebrow. “I hope I’m going to like the way those sentences are supposed to end.”
She laughed and exhaled. “It’s very confusing. I am supposed tohateyou.”
My lips flattened and my gut twisted, imagining any reality where Hazel Adams actually hated me. “I see.”
She let out a frustrated growl. “See? That.” Her hand flipped in my direction. “How am I supposed to stay mad at you when you’re just so ...you?”
I mulled over her words and nodded. “Why don’t you let me in onwhyyou’re supposed to hate me and we can go from there.”
Hazel toyed with her lip. She paused, blinking as indecision buzzed through her. Finally, she sighed and slapped her thigh. “Fine. Stay here.”
Hazel breezed by me, and I sneaked a tiny hit of her perfume as she passed, breathing it in deep and holding it in my lungs.
When she came back, she stood in front of me and held out a letter. “Here.”
I took it from her and slipped the rumpled note from its envelope. It was handwritten in loopy feminine handwriting.
“It’s from Olive,” she explained. “There’s a lot in there, but read here ...” She flipped the paper over and pointed to the middle of the page. Her finger stabbed into the paper. “She tried to tell you. She came here to tell you about her pregnancy, and you wouldn’t evenspeakto her. You sent a crying, pregnant woman away in the rain. She said your father was the only person who cared enough to listen.”
My eyes scanned the page. “My father?” I scoffed. “That’s impossible.” I grabbed the paper and tried to focus on reading the words as my mind spun.
... he was there and refused to see me. He couldn’t even look me in the eyes and tell me to go away. Instead, he had some old guy wearing Moon Boots ask me to leave and practically tossed me out in the rain.
Later that day, I was crying my eyes out at a diner when his father came to see me. We sought comfort in each other. The things he said about his son were horrible, but that wasn’t the man I met at Cask & Keg and spent one amazing night with. The JP I knew was self-deprecating and sensitive and a gentleman. I came to realize Russell wasn’t the man I thought he was either.
But I am out of time and out of choices.
One day you’ll see that I’m doing this for Teddy. So he has a chance to have a father who has the capacity to love him. Without JP, Teddy may never have that.
My blood cooled. It made no sense that Olive had the impression she’d come to Outtatowner, that Iknewand refused to see her.