Page 277 of Vegas Heat

“I can’t act like everything’s okay. I can’t be degraded by my manager when he brought me here to lead this team. It’s only been one practice and I’m already thinking about throwing in the towel. I want to go home to Gabby. I want to get her back. I want to beg her to be with me even after the way I ended things, but if I do that, I’m letting the entire organization down because her father made me choose. I don’t know what to do, man.” By the end of my rant, I’m tugging on the ends of my hair.

Nick is quiet a minute as he studies me, and then he asks, “Why’d you start playing ball?”

My brows draw together. I cut the open wound and bleed in front of him, and that’s the question he asks?

I shrug as I let go of the strands of my hair. “My father,” I answer honestly. “He always had a game on. He bled Cubbieblue, and I’d sit on his lap when I was little while he watched the game. As I got older, he’d explain things to me. He took me to my first game when I was five, and I still remember it. My brother, he didn’t care as much. He liked going to the games but only because he got to eat all the snacks. But I…I fell in love with the game because it was something that my dad and I could share.”

“What would he think about you walking away?” he asks.

My chest tightens. I wish he was here so I could ask him, but he isn’t.

And so I have to go by instinct. I have to do what I think he’d want me to do, and I think he’d want me to play. But I also think he’d want me to be happy…and I’m not sure I can continue to playandbe happy at the same time. Not without Gabby.

Do whatever will bring you the most joy.

She said those words to me the night we met when I was deciding whether to take Troy up on his offer.

I thought I made the right choice, but this for sure isn’t it. There’s no joy here.

The cut is fresh, and I know that. In time, it won’t hurt so bad. But right now, I can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I can’t imagine a time when I will.

CHAPTER 10: GABBY

Joanie didn’t show up to the office today, but she wasn’t expected to. I ran the marketing department as we had planned.

As if I’m not living through the single greatest heartbreak of my life.

As if I’m not carrying Cooper Noah’s baby.

As if everything’s normal when it might never be normal again.

I don’t know when Joanie is planning to come back—orifshe’s planning to come back. All I know is I was in line to be her substitute while she’s out, and I did the things she asked me to do. I even stayed late as I did some research on putting together fun runs for charity, and I emailed Kaylee with ideas for how to showcase both Tight Fit and StrongFitKids. Strong Tight Fit Kids?

But I’m just going through the motions. Work isn’t serving as the distraction it might for most people post-break-up considering my ex has been in every room of this building.

Myex.

I’m not used to thinking of him like that. He isn’t past-tense to me. Not yet. Not ever.

I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to see Cooper at every turn, and I don’t want to act like I’m fine in front of Mackenzie. I want to break down and wallow.

It’s as I’m driving back to my dad’s place after a long day that my car announces,Kaylee Olson calling. Accept call?

I think about answering. She’s grown to be one of my closest friends, but she was Cooper’s friend first. Just the idea of whatthis conversation could turn into has me clicking thenobutton on the car display.

A minute later, my car lets me know I have a new voicemail. I click the button to play it.

“Hey babe, it’s Kay. I got your info about the fun run and I love it. If you want to go ahead with the planning, let me know. If you don’t, I’ll need to find someone because I think it’s a definite yes from both Ben and me. I also wanted to check on you since I know your boy is gone for the next month. When Ben has training camp he’s only gone two weeks and I know how awful that is. I can’t imagine a whole month. I’m here if you need me. Give me a call when you get a chance. Bye!”

It’s sweet that she’s thinking of me, but it’s also clear she doesn’t know that Cooper and I are over. She’s in Montana right now, so it’s not like I can meet her at Tight Fit in the morning.

I think about what to do as I navigate the short trip toward home, and I decide I’ll send her a text once I’m in my pajamas with my dinner ordered, Ruby Sue has been fed and let out, and I’m settled on the couch with the latest from Netflix and a puppy on the cushion next to me.

Me:Thanks for thinking of me.

Send.

I don’t want to talk on the phone right now. I don’t want to tell her how Cooper and I are done. Saying the words is so much harder than spelling them out and hitting send. And at least if I text her, I can wallow by myself at home after I send it. I don’t have to reply to any other messages. I don’t even have toreadany other messages.

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