Page 53 of Second Down Scrooge

“So call him again,” she says.

“He's got practice today, and he didn't call me before he left. He's going through some things, and I'm trying to be understanding and give him space, but seeing pictures of him out with his friends when he can't be bothered to call his daughter to say goodnight, let alone the woman he is supposedly trying to rekindle things with…it just hurts.” I brush away a tear I didn’t even realize fell.

My grandma walks over and puts an arm around my shoulder. “Sweet, sweet Kelly. Trust me when I say men don't think the way we do. I'm certain you're reading too much into this, and things will look different once you are able to talk to him in person.”

I know she's right, and I'm trying to be understanding, but I can't help thinking that even though I know the game will always have to come first to him…I still wish he would put us first. I don't say that to my mom and grandma, instead just opting to smile like they’re right.

And maybe they are. But they also don't know all the details about our complicated history.

I know he's going through this whole thing with the drug test, and as I laid in bed last night, thinking about him and his reaction to the results, I realized that I believed in him wholeheartedly. There must be some mistake with the results.

But because he didn't pick up his phone and I wasn't able to tell him that, who knows where his mind is now? Is he thinking I don't believe him?

It was a whirlwind, and I didn’t have time to think things through. It wasn’t until the quiet of night, when Mia was asleep and the house was silent, that I realized I don’t have any doubts about him at all.

But I can’t fix that when I’m hundreds of miles away.

Lunch is ready, and the pancakes are as delicious as I remember. We even give Mia a little one, and she gobbles it up. I guess we have another new food to add to her dietary variety even though I don't make pancakes anywhere near as delicious as my grandma’s.

I take Mia outside for a while as the snow falls relentlessly. It’s peaceful and quiet here, and it’s a beautiful thing to watch my sweet little girl experience her first blizzard.

I take videos, thinking about how I can send them to Austin when it strikes me howeverythought seems to revert back to him somehow.

This isn't how I pictured feeling on Christmas, and I have the sudden urge to get back home to him.

I want to spend the day with him even though I know he'll be at practice for a portion of it. We’re trying to build something here, and I've spent enough time brooding over him not calling me last night.

I want him to know that I believe in him and trust him, and that I don't care what the test results said. If he says he didn't do it, then I believe he didn't do it, and that feels like a conversation I need to have with him in person.

I want him to know that he comes first to Mia and me. I feel like that is something heneedsto know, but I had this trip planned, and so I took off to Chicago without a second glanceback when we should be spending Mia’s first Christmas together as a family.

I head back inside and run upstairs to change Mia out of the cold, wet clothes from playing in the snow. I grab my phone and check to see when the next flight back to Vegas is, but trying to get a flight out on the night before Christmas Eve last minute is next to impossible.

The only one with a seat available is the redeye tonight.

I don't think it's right to put Mia through that. Maybe she'll sleep the whole time, but I doubt it. I head back downstairs and plop down onto the couch next to my dad. I set Mia on his lap, and he glances over at me.

“You okay?” he asks.

I press my lips together, and then I go for the truth. “I feel like Mia and I should get back home to be with Austin on Christmas, but all the flights today are booked except the redeye. I don't think I should take Mia across the country two days before Christmas on a redeye flight after the way she behaved on the flight out here.”

He chuckles. “Why do you feel like you should go back home?”

“Real talk?” I ask.

“Always.”

“He was drug tested a couple days ago. The results came back positive for a performance-enhancing drug. He said he didn’t do it, that there had to be a mistake. We were in the car on the way to the airport, and I didn't really have a chance to tell him I believe him. It was chaos. We were late for our flight, but I called him last night, and he didn't answer because he was out drinking with his teammates. And now I don't know where we stand or if he thinks I don't trust him, and I hate that.”

My dad leans his head against mine. “Want to know what I think?”

“I would love to know what you think.”

“I think if you belong together, you'll find a way to make it work. And he was out with his friends. He’s going through something, his girl and his daughter are out of town, and maybe he just needed a night to blow off some steam with his friends. Guys do that, Kelly Belly. It’s not like he was out with some other woman. Have you tried calling him again?”

I shake my head. “He's at practice now.”

“Two days before Christmas?”

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