What Austin and I have is complicated, and as I celebrate the touchdown with Ava, I think maybe it’s time to acknowledge that my feelings for him run much, much deeper than I’ve allowed myself to acknowledge.
Life is short, and I’ve wasted the last year and a half being hard on him for something he did when he was pushed into a corner. I’ve wasted so much time being scared about getting hurt when I could’ve taken the leap and been happy with him this whole time instead of miserably alone.
I remember back to when I first met Austin and we had a few fun nights together, and I refused to be the desperate girl chasing him down.
How different would things have been if I hadn’t immediately thrown up a defense mechanism where he was concerned?
He was this big pro football player with a certain sort of reputation, and I was this naïve kindergarten teacher who had no idea what she was getting into. I went into it with zero expectations, and since I’d been hurt before, I put up walls so I wouldn’t be hurt again.
Putting up walls isn’t really my style—or it wasn’t anyway, before I had my heart broken.
Jackie, the babysitter I’ve used a few times now, was recommended by Ava’s sister-in-law, and I just love her. She’s in her early twenties and attends UNLV, and she’s majoring in elementary education. It’s a perfect fit, and Mia seems to adore her.
“She should be up from her nap any minute,” she says as I walk her to the door.
“Thanks so much, Jackie,” I say. I Venmo her the cash I promised and flash her my phone as we stand by the door.
“Thanks. Is Austin coming by?” she asks. “I’d love to congratulate him on that touchdown in the second quarter.” The two of them haven’t actually met yet, but she knows who Mia’s daddy is.
“I’m not sure, actually,” I admit. I shrug. “I’ll tell him you said that.” I smile warmly and walk her out, and I’m sure she was just being nice.
But Austin is hot, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was asking so she could get a little face time with the famous tight end.
You know…the guy who said he thinks he’s in love with me.
I wrap my arms around myself after I close the door behind her, and I can’t help the giddy little feeling that pulses through me.
I think I just might be in love with him, too.
And I think tonight might be the right time to tell him that.
My doorbell rings just as I’m cleaning up from Mia’s rather messy dinner, and when I open it, I find Austin standing there. He’s leaning against the door frame, and he looks freaking delicious in an Aces tee, jeans, and a backward hat.
His blue eyes fall to me, and they’re heated as his gaze carries from my eyes down my body. He doesn’t push off the door frame as he checks me out, and instead of feeling overly subconscious about it, he has this way of making me feel alive and sexy.
“Congratulations on a great game,” I say.
His eyes flick back to mine, and a small smile pushes at the corners of his mouth. “Thanks. I credit the woman cheering her face off for me in the stands.”
I laugh. “Yeah, this crazy lady a few rows in front of me kept going wild every time you took the fie—”
His mouth crashes to mine before I get a chance to finish that sentence, and when he backs up, he leans his forehead to mine. “You know I meant you. What the fuck are you doing to me, Kaplan?”
I catch his lips with mine. “The same thing you’re doing to me, Graham.”
He kisses me some more, and then we both hear, “Mama!”
I pull back with a small smile. “Your daughter is stuck in her highchair while I was cleaning up after dinner. Want to be the savior?”
He nods and slides past me inside, and as I close the door behind him, I can literally hear the very second Mia spots him. “Dadada!”
“Mimimi!” he says back at her, matching her enthusiasm, and my heart feels like it could burst. That feeling intensifies as I walk into the kitchen and see Austin taking Mia out of her chair. He grabs her up into his arms and kisses the top of her head, and she’s giggling the whole time. I set my hand on my chest as I lean on the wall and watch the scene unfold, and this is it.
This is what I want.
I want him to ask the question he’s asked me a hundred times since I ended things with him.Are you ready to give this another chance yet?
I’ve always told himnot yet.