Page 26 of Second Down Scrooge

Chapter 13: Austin Graham

I Never Forget

A Week and a Half Until Christmas

I wasn’t expecting to spend the night, but as light dawns in the morning, I wake feeling like everything is right in the world.

But then reality sets in.

I’ve never come in first before, and I’m not quite sure what to do with it.

I’m a starter now. Does that mean I’ll lose my edge of competition? My entire career has been about me working to be at the top, and I found my way up here.

The only way to go is down.

I’ve got the girl. I lean in and press a kiss to the back of her neck. I’ve only had her back for one night.

What happens if she runs scared again? Or worse…if she realizes I’m not good enough for her?

I force the negative thoughts away. It’s the insecurities creeping in, and I won’t allow them to take root. Not after a great game yesterday followed by the night I had with Kelly.

She didn’t say it back.

The thought twists its way in. I told her I’m in love with her, and she didn’t say it back. She invited me into her body, so maybe that was her way of responding. Or maybe she doesn’t feel the same way about me, so she couldn’t say it back.

I hate that I’m waking with these thoughts today, but it’s no different than any other day. I haven’t been at the top long enough to banish the fear that I’ll always be second-best.

But I’ll fight like hell to remain right where I am.

I hear Mia’s soft cries through the monitor, and I gently, softly get out of bed so I don’t wake up Kelly. I turn the sound off on the monitor before I head toward Mia’s room to get her.

“Dadada!” she squeals. She’s standing in her crib, holding onto the railing when I walk in, and her bright, smiling face is enough to make my entire chest swell with love.

“Mimi!” I say back to her, and I lift her out of her crib and hold her in my arms. “Did you sleep good?”

She coos a little, and I don’t really know what the morning routine looks like since I’m normally not a part of it, but I want to be.

“What do we do in the morning?” I ask, knowing full well that she isn’t going to answer but asking anyway. And then I answer, too. “Maybe we make our own little routine while Mom sleeps.”

I pick her up and start by changing her diaper and her clothes. Then I grab some books I see on the dresser, and we head over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. I open the blinds, and I sit on the chair with my little girl on my lap, and then I start reading her the books.

We read about bunnies and rainbows, about unicorns and teddy bears, and we read a touch-and-feel book about porcupines. She giggles when I brush her finger over the textured pages, and when I glance up after I close the last page, I see Kelly standing in the doorway, reindeer pants on her legs and a sleepy look on her face.

“Aren’t you two just the most adorable sight in the world?” she says, and I chuckle.

“Mama!” Mia says, and she reaches for Kelly, who gladly swoops in and steals her from my lap.

“Miamiga!” She peppers Mia with morning kisses and looks over at me. “Did you change her?”

I nod, and Kelly looks surprised.

“Thanks,” she says. “What can I make you for breakfast?”

I think for a second about her surprise that I changed our daughter, and I realize…she does it all. Every day. She gets a few hours alone a week, and that’s it. The rest of her time is dedicated to taking care of Mia, helping Ava, or making her wreaths. But who spends the time taking care ofher?

Maybe it’s up to me. Maybe it’s something I should’ve been doing this entire time.

I want to show her that I’m willing to put in the time and effort to make this work with her. Last night wasn’t just a one-time deal. It’s a fresh start for us, and I want her to feel that this morning rather than looking back at it as some indiscretion.

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