Page 10 of The Doctor's Surprise Family

“I didn’t lie.” I hated how I sounded, all sour and butthurt. “And what are you talking about, lie for myself? What would I get out of lying to Claire?”

“A few more weeks before she decides you’re not worth it?”

I dropped my frosting pipe. It bounced off my foot. When I bent to get it, my vision went gray. I caught myself on the counter so I wouldn’t keel over.

“I’m not saying she would.” Sam came up behind me. “But, man, you must know you’ve got abandonment issues. Remember when we were roommates and I’d go see my parents, and you’d call to make sure I got there safe? Or I’d hang out with Matt and you’d get all jealous?”

“I wasn’t jealous,” I groused. “Matt drank too much. You drank as well when you were with him, and then you dragged ass through our study sessions.”

Sam snorted. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter to me. Just… be real with yourself. You owe yourself that. You owe Claire as well, if you want to be with her.”

I reached for my frosting pipe. My hand was shaking. Abandonment issues — Sam wasn’t wrong. You couldn’t say all the goodbyes I’d had to say, goodbye to my parents, to my childhood home, my first foster mom and the mom after that, sisters and brothers, teachers, best friends, coaches and classmates and friends from work — tearful goodbyes and ones ripe with resentment, expected goodbyes and the bolt-from-the-blue kind, goodbyes and goodbyes stacked hundreds deep — you couldn’t live on goodbye your whole goddamn life and not get a pang at the thought of another. But Claire wouldn’t do that. We’dwork this out. Long-distance was hard, but some couples did it. And she could visit, and I’d visit her.

“Call me,” said Sam. “Let me know how it goes.”

I nodded, dry-mouthed, and hauled myself to my feet. Sam squeezed my shoulder a little too hard.

“Hey, man. I’m here for you. Don’t forget that. But I’d best not behere-here when Claire gets back.”

I swallowed. “Right.”

“Just tell her,” said Sam. “No more excuses.”

“She’ll understand, right?”

“She’ll be mad as hell. But when she cools down, maybe.”

Sam gave my pasta sauce one more quick stir, then he scooped up his jacket, and he was gone. I stood in the middle of my hot little kitchen and tried to picture my life without Claire. We’d only been together coming on six months, but somehow in that time we’d become something great. She slipped books in my backpack to read on the bus. I made her dinners on study group nights. Little things, boring things, but it felt like… a life. Or at least like the start of one. A foundation to build on. I’d never had that, not like with Claire.

I heard a key rattle in the front door. The key I’d had made for her just a couple months ago.

“Hello? What smells good?”

I breathed deep through my nose. I’d tell her. I would. But she deserved her cake first. Her special day.

“Oh, my God!” She ran up to the stove. “Is that your spaghetti sauce? Mm, it smells great.”

“It’s, uh—” My voice cracked. “Happy birthday,” I said.

“This is for me?”

“Yeah, uh, you’re early. I’ll get you a plate.”

Claire touched my arm. “You okay? You’re all sweaty.”

“Yeah, it’s just hot.”

“Then, you go sit down. I’ll get our plates.” Claire scooped up her cake with its not-quite-done frosting. She popped it in the fridge and gave me a push. “Go on, you sit. You’ve done enough.”

I blundered through to the den and plopped down on the couch. I didn’t think I’d be able to eat. Maybe Claire wouldn’t notice if I pushed the food around my plate. Like actors on TV, pretending to eat.

“This is perfect,” said Claire, and set down my plate. “The pasta, the garlic bread, even the salad. Have I told you today that you’re the best?” She planted a kiss on my clammy forehead. Somehow, by some miracle, I managed a smile.

“There’s wine too,” I said. “By the breadbox.”

Claire went and found it, and she popped the cork. I heard her pour my glass, then a half for herself. She didn’t drink much, so that was enough.

“I’m so proud of you,” I said, when she came back. “Not that I doubted you’d get your match. Any hospital would be lucky to have you on staff.”

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