Page 20 of The Doctor's Surprise Family

Claire spun away from me, then she spun back. Her eyes were wide, wounded, dark with distrust. “Sam told me that too, that you asked about me. That you might reach out, but you never did.”

“I tried your old email once, but it bounced back. And I swear on my life, I didn’t know about Oli. If I did, I swear?—”

“Shut up. I mean, sorry.” Claire backed away from me, hugging herself. “Stop talking a second. I need to think.”

I stood in the driveway like a lost garden gnome. I could hear Claire breathing, shallow and fast. After a while, she let her shoulders go slack.

“I don’t know what to think,” she said. “When they said your girl called, you never thought it was me? It never occurred to you I might’ve reached out?”

It hadn’t, not once, and I swallowed back shame. “I could make some excuse, like it was chaos. Like we’re a trauma center and we’re twenty-four seven, guys flown from war zones all blown up. But if I’m honest, I… I was pissed at you, too. You shut me out of my life and never let me explain. Not that you owed me that, but it still hurt like hell. I never thought it was you because I never thought of you, period. I blocked you out of my head as far as I could.”

Claire sighed, a tired sound, and sat down on a stump. She stretched her legs out in front of her and stared at her shoes. “Let’s say I believe you, and maybe I do. That doesn’t undo theway we broke up. It doesn’t undo you leaving or how you lied, or anything I’ve been through these last four years.”

“I know,” I said. “And believe me, I’m sorry. I can pay your back child support, and?—”

“We don’t need that from you.” Claire drew herself up. “In case you hadn’t noticed, we’re set on that front.” She gestured at the big house, at the acres beyond. “What I needed when Oli came, you can’t even imagine. Nobody can, till they’re a parent themselves. Money doesn’t help when your baby has colic. When he’s up crying for no reason at all. When you walk him and walk him and you don’t know what’s wrong, and your whole heart is breaking because you can’t help.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, except I was sorry, and that didn’t feel like close to enough. I thought I’d caught a curveball, learning I had a kid, but Claire hadhadthe kid and all that came with him. I couldn’t begin to guess what she’d sacrificed.

“I’m just starting my residency. I had to defer. I had to move home — I live with my parents. I wasn’t sure for a while I’d get here at all, working again. And I’m so behind.”

I crouched down beside her and laid my hand next to hers. When she didn’t pull back, I hooked my pinky with hers. “I’m sorry,” I said. “And I know that’s not enough. I know you don’t trust me or fully believe me, and I don’t know Oli. I’ve missed his whole life. I don’t want to barge in on you, or into his life, but Claire, if there’s one thing I need you to know—” My voice caught. I took a deep breath. “Claire, I would never abandon a child. You know I lost my parents, and how bad that hurt, and youhaveto believe I’d never pass that pain on. Not knowingly, anyway. I want to help.”

Claire blinked, wiped her eyes, and pulled her hand free of mine. “I need time to think,” she said. “A few days, at least. I can’t just, I don’t know… I need time to think.”

“I get that,” I said. I wanted to ask her, could I at least meet Oli? Not as his father, but to say hi? To see if he had my eyes or he had hers, and if his cheeks dimpled like hers when he smiled. “I’ll leave you my number,” I said instead. “I’m here for six weeks, so whenever you’re ready.”

Claire gave me a long look, then nodded. “Okay.” She turned to go, and I called after her.

“Claire?”

She paused, but didn’t turn.

“Whatever you decide, please call, okay?”

She made a soft sound, maybe a laugh. “Yeah, Blake. I’ll call you. Don’t lose your phone.”

I winced at the barb, but I surely deserved it. I’d screwed up big-time and put Claire through hell, and now it was my turn to sit and wait.

CHAPTER 9

CLAIRE

Imet up with Joelle on my way to work, at the boba place we’d discovered our first day as residents.

“So, he had no idea.” Joelle stirred her drink. “We thought the whole time he knew and just… flaked. Are we sure he didn’t?”

“I think so,” I said. I sipped my tea. “You should’ve seen his face when I let him have it. Total confusion, likewhat the heck?And you know how he is, world’s worst liar.”

“He hid his match well enough.”

“I was distracted.”

“Sam’ll be relieved if this ends up being true. He’s been stressing over how to put him off for six weeks, what excuse he could give not to see him at all.” Joelle slurped up boba. “So, how about you? What are you going to do about him and Oli?”

I pressed my palms to my temples to ward off a headache. “He wants to step up. Mom says I should let him. She thinks Oli should meet him, but I don’t know.”

“It’s not up to her,” Joelle said. “She’s your mom, but you’re Oli’s. It’s up to you, who’s part of his life.”

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