Page 89 of Unlucky You

Oh my heart.

This kid was the sweetest.

Grand kneeled so he was eye level with his son. “’Preciate that man.”

Raiden hugged him. “You’re still the best dad, even if you can’t play golf.”

I snickered and Grand cut a glare my way but smiled. “Alright, what’s next?” Grand looked at his watch. “We can do one more thing before we have to head out. Tali is going to meet us at the house and bring pizza for you guys for dinner.”

The smile that split Raiden’s face was contagious. I almost felt bad about taking time away from Raiden but Tali promising to bring his henna pens to give him tattoos trumped any plans we could have pulled together for the night.

“Can you call him to make sure he brings his tattoo stuff?”

“I got you.”

While Grand collected our clubs so we could return them before heading inside, Raiden slipped his hand into mine as soon as we were moving. The gesture warmed my heart each time he did this. The offering was simple but a grand gesture that solidified his acceptance of me in his life. Multiple times throughout the day, I could see Grand watching me with Raiden and it made me uncomfortable, like he was trying to decide if me being around him was something he could accept. I understood. This was his son, his world. I wouldn’t dare take it personally.

“I can get whatever tattoos I want?”

As Raiden skipped along beside me, chatting away like we were the best of friends, I felt eyes on me. When I peeked at Grand, he briefly dropped his eyes to where Raiden’s hand connected to mine and winked before continuing the conversation.

“But just your arms, aight. I don’t want to come home to find out your entire body is inked.”

“You have them all over.” Raiden’s brows pinched and Grand chuckled.

“When you’re my age, you can get as many as you want but for now, just your arms, deal?”

“Deal,” he sang enthusiastically as if Grand had just promised him the world.

After we returned our clubs, we headed inside where Raiden did indoor racing. He managed that one alone because the kid-sized vehicles weren’t large enough to accommodate Grand and me. We watched from the sidelines, completely entertained by Raiden’s ambitions on the small indoor track.

Grand stood behind me, caging my body with his while his hands rested on the railing. The moment was serene but still weighted because the silence was loud. His thoughts were so heavy I could literally feel them. I was starting to think he changed his mind about later but didn’t want to tell me until he released a statement so quiet I almost missed it.

“I never wanted kids.”

I lifted my chin and tilted my head back to find him watching Raiden. I sensed the conflict by the look on his face, which had me turning my back to the railing and fisting his shirt to bring him closer. He lowered his eyes and exhaled a sigh.

“I know that sounds fucked up but it’s true. I never saw my life with suburban shit but the minute Aleah told me she was pregnant, every-fucking-thing in my world shifted.”

He glanced at Raiden then lowered his eyes to meet mine again. “I wanted him so damn bad I couldn’t process or understand that need. I wantedourkid. Hers and mine.”

I remained quiet because I wasn’t sure how to react but I felt his need to get this off his chest so I didn’t interrupt.

“Then I lost her. I went to prison because of it and didn’t have either one of them. For five fucking years, I wanted Aleah and our son, knowing that it wouldn’t happen. When I came home, she wasn’t going to be there waiting, but he was, and once again my entire fucking world shifted.”

His expression darkened.

“The only thing I could think about was loving him enough to make up for what he lost. No matter how many times people told me that shit wasn’t possible; I was determined to prove them wrong. I didn’t care about anything other than making shit right with Raiden… until I met you.”

Intense eyes met mine and the muscles in my chest tightened. “I didn’t want this either. I felt like I had my one chance and fucked it up. It didn’t feel fair to be happy but shit is funny like that. No matter what you think you want, need, or deserve, the universe will throw that shit on pause and put you right in the middle of something you never expected or believed possible.

“I don’t know what I deserve but I know what I want. I want to give him brothers and sisters. I want him to be loved the way he would have if I hadn’t fucked that up. I know this may seem random as hell but it’s not. I’ve been thinking about all this since I realized my world shifted again because ofyou. Whatever we are, whatever we’re gonna be, I want it, Saniya. Even if there are days when I don’t feel like I deserve this, I still fucking want it.”

He lowered his forehead to mine for a brief moment, then kissed me softly. “I want it, Saniya. All of it.”

“Daddy…” Raiden ran full speed and collided with Grand. “Did you see me? I beat all of them.”

“Yeah man, I saw you.”

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