Page 8 of Unlucky You

By eight, he’d taken a bath, then we watched videos on his iPad until he fell asleep tucked against my side, but not before making me promise that I wouldn’t go away for a long time anymore. I made that promise and intended to keep it.

“You can stay if you want?” My mother stood next to the sofa watching the two of us like her world was complete. It might have been but mine wasn’t. I only had half my heart. Couldn’t get the other half back.

“No, I have something I need to do.”

“Like what, Grand?”

“You can’t police my moves, Ma. I have to figure shit out. I promise, I will and I won’t put you in the same position again.”

“You didn’t put me in a position, Grand, you did that to yourself.”

“I did, but I also put you in one too. You had to raise him.” I brushed a hand over my head and looked at her.

“I would have rather it been you and Aleah raising him but I don’t mind at all. He’s my grandson.”

My mood shifted. “Yeah, well, I fucked that up.”

“Grand…” she asserted and when my eyes lifted to hers she continued, “It’s not your fault. You have to stop beating yourself up over things you can’t change.”

“She was there because of me. It’s my fault.”

“You didn’t drug her. You’re not the reason we lost her. Stop blaming yourself for things that were out of your control. You have to move beyond the past, for him. He needs you here. All of you and so do I.” Her eyes softened, pleading, and I exhaled a sigh, carefully sitting up and pulling away from Raiden. Once I was standing, I lifted him into my arms so he was against my chest. He dropped his head on my shoulder but his arms hung loosely at his sides.

“I’m here. That’s all I can promise for now but I’m working on it.” I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I’m going to put him in bed before I head out. You need anything?”

“I need for you to be okay.”

“I’m good, Ma.”

As good as I can be.

After I got Raiden settled in his room, I stood over his bed watching him sleep. Everything about my world was different now. I missed his mother so much it hurt but there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to rectify the situation or the loss. My mother was right; I had to be okay for him. He needed me but not more than I needed him.

I left his room and approached the living room to the sound of another male voice. I frowned at first but recognized the familiarity of his tenor the closer I got to the living room.

Tali.

“I would have been here sooner but my client ran late.”

“You called him?” My voice had two sets of eyes on me but mine remained on my mother.

“Yes, but not for you. Your cousin has been helping out with things.”

“What kind of things?” My eyes left my mother and landed on Tali.

“Whatever she needed, cuz. I made you a promise and I kept it. I looked out for your mother and Raiden, but you’re home now, so I’ll fall back.”

He stared at me, waiting for me to decide how I wanted to deal with yet another thing I couldn’t control. Another man being there for my mother and son. “I appreciate you keeping your word.” I approached and extended a hand. He grinned and pulled me into a hug.

“Welcome home, family.”

“I’ll let you two catch up.” Her eyes bounced between us and I nodded, pulling her into a hug.

“I’m gonna head out. I’ll come by tomorrow.”

“Okay, good night.”

“Night, Ma.” I kissed her cheek and let her go.

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