Page 7 of Unlucky You

I did a quick scan around the living room and felt my mother’s hand on my arm. When my eyes lowered, she smiled softly. “He’s out back.” She paused and the smile reached her eyes. “Waiting on you.”

I nodded and brushed a hand over my head, gripping the back of my neck. This was the hard part. I’d lost close to five years with my son. I was the reason he no longer had his mother. That shit was a hard reality to deal with, but I had to make things right. I had to be enough for both of us, his mother and me. Not that I could ever replace what she would have been in his life, but I was damn sure gonna try to make up for the loss.

“Stop that. You’re overthinking. It’s simple with him. You weren’t here and now you are. He loves you, Grand.” My mother's firm tone had me nodding and exhaling again.

“He doesn’t know what I cost him.”

“Youdidn’t cost him anything. Now stop all this and get to know your son.”

Each step toward the back of my mother's house felt like torture. I wanted this and felt like I didn’t deserve him at the same time. The conflict was weighted and that only increased the minute I stepped out back and found Raiden sitting on his knees, leaning back on his heels with two massive toy trucks in front of him. He was staring so intently that it put a smile on my face. This kid was my twin through and through but at that moment he reminded me of his mother. The way she would study things and be so lost in her thoughts that she shut out the world around her.

“What’s not working for you?”

His eyes shot up to mine and they narrowed while he studied me instead of the trucks. His voice was firm when he spoke but softer than I expected. But what the fuck could I expect, I didn’tknow him. “These are dump trucks and I don’t have a road or anything for them to carry. Kinda pointless.” He shrugged.

And I chuckled.

“It’s your truck. It can carry just about anything, and you don’t need a road.”

“Yes I do?”

“Nah, you don’t. Just pretend they’re in the forest carrying wood. The trees people cut down.”

“Can’t do that if I don’t have trees.”

“You gotta use your imagination, kid. You want me to help you find some?”

His eyes lifted to mine and he squinted because the sun was behind me. I stepped closer, blocking the glare. “Yes, you can help me.”

I nodded and glanced around the yard before heading to the back where there was a cluster of small trees. I broke a few branches, snapped them in half, and carried them back to where he was seated. I lowered to a squatted position and dumped the broken branches into the metal tin on the back of the plastic trucks and pointed. “Now you have something to carry.”

He grinned, exposing missing teeth. What looked like two at the bottom and a couple at the top. All spaced out. Cute as shit. He stood and brushed his hands over his jeans, moving closer. “You’re my dad, right?”

“Yeah.”

My heart clenched with what he might say next but then I almost fucking lost it. “Can I have a hug? I never got to hug you before.”

A wave of emotions swallowed me while I offered a tight nod and opened my arms, welcoming him in. When he threw his around my neck, I felt right. My world shifted and I barely got the words out but managed.

“I missed you, kid.”

“I missed you too. A lot,” he said quietly into my chest. I hugged him tighter, not wanting to let him go, but he eventually wiggled away, offering that damn smile again.

“What else can we carry?”

We…

“I don’t know. Let’s see what we can find.”

He extended a hand and I stood, covering his with mine, letting him drag me along. I would go wherever the fuck he wanted me to go, for the rest of my life. “Nana has rocks in her garden over there. She won’t let me touch them but if you get them, I might not get in trouble.”

I belted out a laugh. The kid was already hustling me. But he could get that. “Sounds like you’re setting me up.” I looked down and he shrugged and smiled.

“I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are, but that’s okay, for now.”

I spent the next few hours watching him, listening to him talk about whatever he wanted to—school, cartoons, not liking vegetables but how my mother made him eat at least two bites, the way he only listened because she wouldn’t give him dessert if he didn’t. I hung on every word because each one fucking mattered. I couldn’t get back what I’d lost but I could make the most of what he was offering now.

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