Page 31 of Unlucky You

“Mommy, I get to see my daddy now. My nana told me he was coming home and now he’s here. I wish you could come home too but Nana told me you have to be my angel and you couldn’t come home. It makes me sad because I want you to be here with my daddy and her. I’m gonna keep praying like my nana taught me and maybe one day you can be my angel here and not far away. I love you, Mommy. Good night.”

My knees felt weak and I turned my body just in time for my back to hit the wall. For a brief moment, it was the only thing holding me up. I was fucking destroyed. She should be here, not me. I was the one who fucked it all up.

“Daddy, what’s wrong?”

Fuck.

I forced a smile and pushed away from the wall, looking down at Raiden whose little face was pinched with concern.

“Nothing, man.” I lowered to my haunches and brushed a hand over his head before I lifted him in my arms and carried him into his room. I sat on the side of his bed and glanced at the photo that sat on the nightstand.

“I missed you today.”

“I missed you too, man. I had to take care of some stuff and couldn’t pick you up today. I apologize.”

“It’s okay. Can I still come to your house tomorrow?”

“Yeah, you can.”

His face split into a grin. “When I wake up?”

I chuckled. “Not that early but before you eat lunch.”

My mother had his little ass up by six even on the weekends and there wasn’t a chance in hell I would be up that early and functional.

“Can we go back to the motorcycle place and have lunch?”

“Nah, I think we’re gonna do something different this time. You cool with that?”

He frowned. “Like what?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“It doesn’t have to be a surprise. You can tell me.”

I grinned, shaking my head, then tapped his nose. “Sorry kid, you have to wait until tomorrow.”

“Daddy…” he whined and I shook my head, hoisting him off my lap. I gently tossed him onto the bed. I lifted enough to pull the covers back so I could tuck him in, then lay next to him, folding my arms behind my head, grinning when he mirrored my position and folded his arms behind his head too.

“Tell me about your day.”

For the next hour I lay with my son, listening to details about his day and him trying to persuade me to tell him what I had planned for tomorrow. I had not a damn clue what we were going to do but I would figure it out. Pride wouldn’t allow me to ask my mother or Tali. I needed my relationship with Raiden to be independent of them. Fuck, I might just wing it and let the day be whatever it turned out to be. Whatever he wanted to do was cool with me. I was simply grateful to have the time with him.

I waited for him to fall asleep, kissed his forehead, and eased off the bed. I stared at a face that mirrored mine and my gut twisted when I felt grateful for a split second that I consumed his features. The weight of having to look at his mother’s face on him hurt my heart and within seconds I felt like shit for even having the thought.

This was so fucked up. I didn’t know how to process a world with no Aleah and a son we were supposed to raise together. I yanked a hand down my face and left his room in search of my mother. When I found her in the kitchen making tea, I dug in my pocket for the cash I brought with me. I grabbed her hand and placed it in her palm, which granted me a hard stare.

“What’s this for?”

“Told you I was gonna pay you back for what you spent on my place and the things you put in there for me.”

She shoved her hand forward, shaking her head. “I don’t want your money, baby.”

“Ma, just keep it. I need to do this.”

She exhaled a sigh and glanced at the fold of cash in her hand.

“You working?”

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