Page 81 of Fragile Oath

“It is a man’s duty to protect his family.” He clenched his fist, and I heard all of the things he wasn’t saying.

He wouldn’t have believed me because he wouldn’t have believed that Alexei could have strayed from that same duty. But he was also apologizing, in his way, for not protecting me.

“I did not know,” he murmured. “Not until you were taken. I tried to make you understand why you needed to come home, the position you put the clan in, and your family.”

His expression flickered, and he swallowed down whatever emotion had threatened to expose itself, carefully securing his mask once more.

I thought back to the letters he had sent all those weeks ago. Were what I had seen as threats actually warnings? Or a mixture of the two? It was hard to say with my uncle, a man who had played both sides of a war. But I knew he wasn’t without love, in his way.

Even with my marriage contracts, he had been kinder than he needed to be. When the notoriously brutal heir to Clan Bear was one of my best options, when there were lords twice my age vying for my hand, my uncle had only ever allowed negotiations with a lord known to be kind and upstanding.

Until Alexei.

“I was left with very little choice.” It wasn’t an apology so much as an explanation, but it was all I had to offer him.

“You have a choice now,” he said stiffly.

I dipped my chin in agreement. “And I’ve already made it.”

My words were like a sleigh teetering on the edge of an icy mountain, existing at the mercy of my uncle’s weight. One shift, and I would go tumbling down.

“Even if it means you are removed from the clan?” His tone was quiet, almost careful, like he sensed the same precarious edge that I did and hadn’t yet decided whether to let me fall.

I squeezed my eyes shut, that possibility feeling more substantial with my uncle in front of me declaring it so, but I had made my peace with my choice. If I fell over the edge, then my new family would be there to help me pick up the pieces. I understood that now.

“Even then,” I told him.

Silence fell, and the sleigh in my head teetered precariously. Disappointment and fear and grief swirled like a blizzard around us, but for now it was only me and the man at whose whims I had existed for as long as I could remember.

Malishka moved closer, laying her giant head in my lap as her blue eyes searched for the source of my anxiety. I comforted myself by running my hands along her neck, using her to ground myself while I waited for my uncle to respond.

“I have already written to Nils,” he eventually said.

I squeezed my eyes shut, resigned.

“I told him it was no fault of ours if his nephew decided to embark on an expedition, but we can hardly hold you to a betrothal with no groom.”

My eyes flew open, my gaze snapping up to his. He looked away, letting out a slow breath while I tried to determine whether my mind was playing tricks on me.

“I have had more than my fill of the loch land, so I will take my leave within the week. Your parents will expect a visit soon,” he added gruffly.

I could hardly speak, my lips numb with shock.

“Yes, Uncle.”

He nodded in a clear dismissal, so I stood to leave, Malishka falling in step at my left. But as I reached for the door handle, I froze, knowing I would never get answers from him again.

“Why?” I spoke without turning around.

A deep sigh resounded from his spot near the fire. “You are still the pride of our clan, and I will not let Wolf take that from us.”

I shook my head softly, hearing everything he was too proud to say. That he wouldn’t let Wolf take me, not again. That even though he had many weapons left in his arsenal, he was choosing to let me stay here.

I heard Jocelyn’s words resounding in my head once more. You can’t always choose who you love, but you get to choose who is deserving of your loyalty. My uncle was many things to many people, most of them negative, and his choices had lost him my loyalty.

But not my love.

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