Page 18 of Fragile Oath

“It doesn’t matter.” The words came out sharper than I meant them to.

It doesn’t matter if she left. It doesn’t matter how either of us feels about this. It doesn’t matter if she has no regard for her own safety.

The twins looked at each other, then me, analytical glances that only contributed to the temper I was trying to quell. I took a deep breath, continuing in a calmer tone.

“Nothing has changed. What’s important now is that we know where she’s headed, and we aren’t far behind.”

As if the final word was a cue he had been waiting for, Ewan and the other soldiers rounded the corner with our horses in tow. Once we were all mounted and ready, we took off toward the main road, keeping the same punishing pace from the past few days.

It still wasn’t enough to quiet the storm that raged relentlessly in my mind, the ongoing battle of my instincts clashing against every ounce of logic at my disposal.

Maybe Gwyn was right, and Galina had designed all of this. Maybe she had planned it all, right under my nose while lying in my bed while I imagined our future together.

But I couldn’t shake the small voice in the back of my mind telling me that there was something else at play.

ChapterNine

GALINA

It should have beena relief that we couldn’t consummate our marriage right away, since we had to wait to stop at an inn that was deemed safe, which I determined to mean,controlled by the Uprising. Instead, each hour in the carriage ride only served to add to my dread.

Was this how soldiers felt in the tension-filled moments before a battle broke out? Wanting to run, when their only option was to stay? Wondering if they would survive the carnage ahead?

Alexei had been almost civil since our forced union, but his reinforced ownership over me was in everything he did. He sat even closer to me on the carriage bench, his hand territorially resting on my thigh, sending spiders crawling along my skin for the entirety of the ride.

I wasn’t sure how I made it out of the carriage on my weak knees when we finally stopped at the inn for the evening. One step, then the other, all the way up the stairs. By the time Alexei closed the door behind us, I had stopped breathing.

He turned to me expectantly, his gaze heavy with a mix of resignation and determination. Was it me he wasn’t sure he wanted, or just an unwilling bride? Still, there was a small trace of the victory I had been expecting, the satisfaction of accomplishing what he had set out to do.

For all that the carriage ride had felt interminable, being in this room with him was markedly worse. Every part of my mind rebelled, but this is what I had agreed to when I left. This was the life I had knowingly come back to. There was no escaping it now.

Even if I could find a way to delay, it would only make things worse down the line. Andthatwas the best-case scenario. He had made it clear my parents’ lives were tied to my willing obedience, not merely my reluctant compliance. So I stood firmly when he crossed the room to me, reaching for the gray scarf he had made me wear.

In slow, deliberate movements, he unwound it from my neck. Then his hand was on my jaw, his thumb skimming gently down to my neck. It was a jarring contrast to the pressure that had left bruises only days ago.

He leaned forward, brushing his lips against mine, and I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t pull away, but I couldn’t respond.

Wouldn’t. Couldn’t. The distinction felt important, but it wasn’t one I could make when I was frozen like the roses in my father’s garden after an ice storm, somehow both fragile and unyielding.

Alexei stopped, pulling back to examine my expression. Whatever hint of hesitation had been in his eyes before was entirely gone now, replaced with an implacable sort of pride.

“Are you not enjoying yourself,Radnaya?” he demanded.

There was only one answer I could give. “Of course I am, My Lord.”

I could see it, then, a frozen bloom falling to the stone path, the jagged shards of ice shattering in every direction. And the flower inside was dead.

He sighed bitterly. “Such a good little liar. But it is not your honesty I require. Merely your obedience.”

There it was again, resignation in his tone because I was always, always falling short in his eyes, and I always would. I wasn’t what he wanted, what he was promised, what he thought he deserved.

No matter how hard I tried to keep him satisfied, it would always come back to this. His hand on my throat. His growl in my ear. His endlessly condescendingRadnaya.

This was my life now, keeping him calm at the cost of myself.

So I took a deep breath, forcing myself to lean closer to him while I gave myself a thousand reassurances that didn’t make this moment any easier.

At least this wasn’t the first time. That first night, it had been Davin’s patient, skillful hands and his gentle words. At least Alexei was still calm tonight. At least his duties would take him away from me most of the time.

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